Zaleeya's Journey

Pictures from 2011...

2011-10-20T09:11:00.000-07:00

Happy Gotchya Day! 3 years now...

2011-10-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

Yes it's been a year since my last blog post. And I'm wracked with guilt! Life is so busy it's hard to find time otherwise... But I'm here and I have a lot to say about the last 365 days.

It's interesting reading my last post because it feels like a million years ago. And it strikes a nerve because even then, I had no idea the Attachment work we still had ahead of us. I was on the right track back then, I knew our child was still struggling with feeling secure and grounded, but we were still lost on how to accomplish this. So after a few more months of Zaleeya's behavior going back and forth, we finally decided to seek out real help. Qualified help in the form of an Attachment Specialist. If I had only know our therapist exisited, we would have gotten help earlier. But alas this is a Journey, and one we needed to embark on.

In March of this past year we started working more on our attachment issues. Turns out Zaleeya symptoms (tantrums, transition issues, defiant behavior, lack of eye contact, inability to sleep easily) were textbook. I felt like I had really tried to be concerned about "Attachment" but didn't exactly know what that meant. So our therapist taught us games for eye contact. She worked on Zaleeya's expression of her feelings (are you sad, mad, glad or scared?). We moved her to a big girl bed large enough for mom and dad to sleep with her every night while she falls asleep. We fed her a bottle- yes I know! A bottle to a 3 year old which still works wonders if we are having a rough day. I quit my management job, cut back on my work hours, and committed to staying at home with her 2 full days a week.

Low and behold, within a week we saw a MAJOR difference. For the first time in years, I felt the sensation of her hugging me, relaxing into me, and actually falling asleep in my arms. Her morning objections to go to school subsided considerably. She started to actually progress at lightening speed at school. A lot of her transition issues and sensory processing issues reduced and barely affect us anymore.

But honestly, more importantly, we as parents feel more attached. We know how to solve a challenging day (which are far fewer in between). We aim not to over schedule. We work on eye contact every day. We say I love you all the time and feed each other often. We're happier as a family and we even went on a family vacation... something Azeem and I couldn't imagine doing a year ago.

At school she received high marks from her teacher in her communication skills, her ability to sit and focus, her team player skills and sharing, and her leadership potential. We couldn't believe our ears! It's amazing when hard work pays off.

The biggest payoff for me was her 4th birthday party. I went a little overboard and hired a princess and invited a ton of kids. She handled it with amazing grace! She made eye contact with me from far and smiled ear to ear when she saw her princess. She used her manners, greeted her guests and followed all the house rules. Mom and Dad marked it as a major milestone of development and we couldn't have been prouder. Who knew the power we had as parents to affect change in our child! It's been an incredible learning experience.

So now for some the exciting stuff. Here is what she is into and loves right now, at age 4 (and 2 months):

Rapunzal is her favorite movie and character. She loves to tie any rope/ scarf to the back of her dress and pretend of have long hair. Today she sang "Wondering and Wondering when will my life begin!"

Her speech is amazing. She will say "actually mommy..." and use the word appropriately. She asks a TON of questions and is inquisitive about everything. "Why? Why? But mommy "because" is not an answer!"

She LOVES Ziggy still and wants to take him everywhere. On our way back from our family vacation, she said "Daddy please drive a little faster and don't bump any cars. I need to get home to my doggie Ziggy".

She is in dance class at school and wakes up with enthusiasm on Wednesdays since she knows its "dance class day!!"

She is incredibly tactile and likes to finger paint (any paint becomes nail polish by the way), play with soap, hand sanitizer and hand lotion. She loves to play with water and will now use wipes and stuff to clean (sometimes helpful!) She really enjoys playing with things that are NOT toys and figuring out what to do with them. I'll find random containers or bags filled with other random things. If something is missing in the house, chances are she got a hold of it.

She loves to sing and now knows all the words to Take Me Out to the Ballgame and Jamaica Farewell. Sometimes in the car she will humm and sign and pretend to know the words to a song. We will dance together all the time, even in the grocery store.

She is beginning to enjoy riding her big girl bike (with training wheels). She is good at hopping and skipping and is starting to learn to throw a ball. She doesn't have an interest yet in soccer... but daddy will be working on that one soon!

Her favorite friends at school and at home and at school, are all adopted (yes bizarre!). We network alot with adoptive families, but we still think she has a 6th sense about this. She is in a phase now where she has a new best friend every day and is getting better at meeting new friends.

Food wise she LOVES her mac and cheese, kix, cheese, crackers, frosting and cotton candy! So nutritious I know.

Her favorite TV shows are Backyardigans, Dora, Diego, Max and Ruby, and Umizoomi. And we dance to the Fresh Beat Band songs everyday.

Lastly, and more importantly, we really do believe Zaleeya is one of the most intuitive children we've ever met. She will give us feedback on someone immediately by meeting them. She helped us pick out a babysitter (from numerous interviews) who turns out to have a lot in common with us. And the biggest proof to date happened last night. At 2am (2:30pm Kolkata time) she woke up in an inconsolable nightmare. This was the exact time 3 years ago we left her children's home. Bizarre.

Anyhow I'll post a few pictures in another entry. But thanks for following and as always, I hope my honest thoughts help someone else in their adoption journey.

We love you lil Z!

Happy "Gotchya" DAY!

2010-10-20T19:20:00.000-07:00

It's been two years! Wow what a Journey. I am listening to Daddy and Zaleeya in the bath as she negotiates her way through the nighttime process... what a smart kid!

What a difference 2 years makes, and in this case what a difference 2 MONTHS make! At the end of August, before we headed off on our first vacation without Zaleeya , I was ready to quit my job as mommy. I was so frustrated! Zaleeya's tantrums were terrible, her rebillion at it's highest, her constant demands unreasonable and we struggled to get through the days. I was ready for a vacation...

On our trip we did some serious soul searching. What was wrong? Why was she still seeming to struggle so much? Before we left town she would still INSIST I carry her down the stairs, demand a whole lot of my attention doing simples things, and throw tantrums when she didn't get her way. Why was she suddenly screaming herself to sleep after the normal nighttime routine? Some of it was normal 3 year old stuff, other stuff just didn't seem right.

So I came home in the beginning of September with a fresh perspective and a new attitude. My sense was that we were parenting her with too much discipline and rules. This was a child who lost the first year of her life with her parents. Sure she needed discipline, but she also needed more love. And we decided we were going to give it to her in spades.

We changed the nighttime routine and let her have more control. We went back in to her room after lights out when she wanted more "tissues" or more time "holding my hand". I didn't give in to every one of her whims, but when she started to tanrum I held her until she decided to stop (against the advice of our parenting doctor who wanted us to put he down and let her work it out- she NEVER worked it out!).

I put my pateince hat on every morning. I apologized to her when I lost my cool. I explained things in a normal voice and expected her to understand concepts she didn't quite get.

I discovered that through all this chaos of the last few years, I forgot how much I needed to work on MY attachment to her, and how loving her unconditionally was the only way to make this happen.

And it worked. Six weeks later we have a child that is more confident, wants to be independent, hasn't thrown a tantrum in days, falls asleep on her own without screaming, and this morning said to us "You're lucky, because I Love You".

It may have taken two years, but we are finally here. The transition is over. She is OURS fully and completely, and we look forward to the next 2, 4, 8, 16 and 32 years!

PS. Aurora (aka Sleeping Beauty), Pink and the number 7 still rule our house! Sigh...
PPS. I'll do a post with some fun pictures on another day...

It's time to PRETEND!

2010-08-09T21:39:00.000-07:00

Hello it's been longer than usual but I'm here ready for more blogging! It's been 3 months now that Zaleeya has been in daycare. She has now kinda of figured out the schedule so she does protest every morning, but we know she really enjoys her days and she's learning so much, so we take it as simple 2 year old rebellion. I'm really happy with my current job and feel challenged and enjoying the work/mom routine.

Zaleeya is fast approaching her 3rd birthday (3 weeks!) so we also attribute a LOT of new tantrum and control behaviors to this. Boy is she tough sometimes! Lately when we try to transition to nighttime, or naptime or clean up time, it's "no no no only in 2 minutes!". Sigh. We've tried reward charts and counting to 3 etc etc and all variations seem to work somtimes, but of course she also ends up in good old fashioned time out.

But with these new struggles come some cool new talking and some wonderful pretending. She is SUPER into Aurora (sleeping beauty) and often tells people her name is Aurora if they ask. She will serve up tons of food in her kitchen, carry "pretend" pink candy in her hand, take you on a ride in her imaginary choo choo train, offer to take you for a ride in her light pink car so you can go "golf". It's amazing what she comes up with and how dedicated to the things that she deems her "favorite" (like the number 7 and the color PINK!).

We had a great 4th of July this year with a ride through the children's parade and took a few trips to Disneyland. So far we've seen Ariel, Jasmine and Belle but need to make it back soon to see the infamous Aurora. I'm telling you it's kinda crazy... she hasn't

even see the movie but we just started reading the book and she hides hen the evil fairy Malificent shows up. She is starting to develop some normal "fears" of evil characters and "monsters" lurking in dark rooms.

As always, it continues to be an adventure but we are reminded daily how lucky we are when we see how well she continues to adjust.

Daycare!

2010-06-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

So it's been a few weeks now and I am happy to report that mommy is WORKING and Zaleeya is in DAYCARE! After pouring over tons of info and visiting a myriad of facilities, we settled on an in home daycare in a neighboring community only 4 minutes away. My instincts were telling me that lil Z would do better in a smaller environment before hitting preschool... and boy was I right (picture is from her first day)!

First of all, we love our daycare lady (Ms. Dawn). She is nurturing but strict and very structured. Her home is immaculate, she is a consummate professional and I feel now that she is a helper to me in conquering some of Zaleeya's issues. It's been a few weeks, and she is already playing better with other children, eating meals in under 30 mins (WHAT!!??), coughing and sneezing into her arms for hygiene, not touching doorknobs unless shes asks, and putting away toys. And never once has she whined, complained or cried about being left there... it's as if she knew this was the right place for her. It's a miracle!

Sure, mommy and daddy get homework so we can work on these skills on the days she is not in daycare, but I am happy to have someone who is part of parenting team, someone who has confirmed what I know all along... that our child is bright, headstrong, and will challenge us everyday.

And more importantly, mommy is happy to have time away so that our time together is QUALITY. Today was the first full day we had together in a while, all day alone, and boy was it awesome. Sure we had a few tantrums and timeouts, but I was prepared and mentally ready to handle it. Now this is what I imagined motherhood to be like. Thank you Ms. Dawn!

DISNEYLAND!

2010-05-18T20:18:00.000-07:00

We decided to finally take lil Z on a BIG trip to Disneyland! We were lucky to get in for free so we didn't feel the pressure to stay all day and did a nice short trip in about 4 hours. She LOVED it! We visited DUMBO first, where she giggled her way through her first purple Dumbo trip. Then we did the Carousel, where she was a bit nervous to ride the horsie unless mama was holding her hand. Then we headed over to the teacups which she LOVED! We even have video of this one... and I'm so glad that she is not afraid of going around and around. Then we hit Its a Small World; this song is number one on the list of bedtime lullabies now. Lastly we hit toon town where we got to meet MICKEY! While waiting in line for Mickey, Zaleeya was very excited and kept saying "We are going to see Mickey, he is changing right now!". We have no idea where she got this from... but the day was a success and we can't wait to take her back!

Strawberries, Baseball and the POTTY!

2010-04-14T20:35:00.000-07:00

It's that time again... and I'm proud of myself for being so diligent in my blogging. I think this will be very important to Zaleeya in a few years. Even though we are past the "adoption" phase of our parenting journey (for now), it's great to just keep track of what goes on from a month to month basis. This month has been all about the POTTY! Yes we successfully training lil Z how to use the potty and after 4 days of a few accidents here and there, we are now accident free for 2 weeks! Of course going #2 has been a bit of an issue and took some prodding from mommy (major major fears) but we are now using the pink potty religiously. Yes, it's far too much info, but mom wants to remember this moment and feel proud. I took my time and waited till we were both ready.

We hit the strawberry farm with school the other day... a fun filled adventure that involved strawberry picking, mud and a wagon. We also hit our first ANGELS game last week! We had been waiting to take her until we felt we could make it through the 7th inning stretch (to sing Take Me out to the Ball Game) which we did! Zaleeya did great and was able to si

t and eat her way through most of the game. We loved it when she first got a live glimse of the baseball field... she actually stopped us and went to go take a look. It was amazing! SHE IS A FAN! And now says GO ANGELS everytime we pass the stadium.

This month has also been about talking. It's crazy how much she puts together now. Instead of saying "Mama I got a bobo", we are moving into phrases like "Mama I hurt myself on my chin". She can vocalize everything, which at times drives us a bit crazy and nervous as she now repeats everything too!

For some reason, perhaps because of the Potty Training, she has become a little more clingy and whiney lately. Sometimes it's so bad we have numerous escalating tantrums because I stand firm to my ground and don't give in to her every whim. For example, she will throw Pepe and expect me to get it for her; I make her calm down and do it herself. It's been a

tough few days, but I chalk it up to normal growing pains and I know tantrums for 2 year olds are not uncommon. At least we know she is attached!

I plan to go back to work part time and we are looking into preschool/ daycare solutions. Zaleeya may be sensing this so it could also be contributing to her increase of clingyness. I only plan to work 3 half days to help her with this transition. I am looking forward to this a bit as I don't think I was ever wired to be a full time mom. It's been good for all of us... but perhaps it's time to move into a few phase of motherhood.

Anyhow that's all for this month. Thanks for keeping track of us.

A Trip to the Olympics!

2010-03-10T14:37:00.000-08:00

As promised, I am on time delivering my monthly blog entry and this one is dedicated to our recent trip to Vancouver. Azeem has been busy with work (CPA in Busy Season!) so Zaleeya and I took a gracious offer from my parents to visit them in their Vancouver Condo and enjoy the spirit of the 2010 Winter Games.

Zaleeya of course had no idea what the "Olimstics" were all about... but by the end of it she had mastered the phrase "GO CANADA!" much to our dismay. There was SO MUCH Canadian Spirit everywhere that she picked it up quite quickly, and let's admit that it is a bit easier to say than "Go USA".

She did a good job adjusting to the travel again, despite the fact that just before leaving she got the worst cold she has had in a while. Night time was rough the first few nights and she ended up sleeping with me since I caved when she decided to learn the phrase "I WANT MY MOM!". I guess it's true that when they are sick they crave mommy comfort.

But after a few days we ventured out into the colder weather (only 55 degrees actually and sometimes a bit rainy) and hit Live City, an outdoor Olympic venue for spectators to come watch the events on large screens. We also spent some time strolling down the streets of Vancouver and she was great at sitting in her stroller and watching the people go by in her turquoise jacket and pink sunglasses. What a California diva! We even ventured out on a bike ride... mom's first with Zaleeya on the bike. It was so much fun!

Mom got to go to the Opening Ceremonies, some ice skating and an ice hockey match. It was fantastic! All in all though we were glad to be home and back into the regular routine. Zaleeya fared better than expected while traveling, but still just does her best at sleeping and eating and behaving when she is at home.

She continues to talk like crazy adding more and more sentences to her repertoire. Today she picked up the phone with my mom and said "Nani, I hear Ziggy barking in the backyard". Amazing!

Also this month we had a nice dinner with the Adoption Club in Ladera Ranch. We met a group of wonderful families with children all adopted (mostly domestic) and around the same age as Zaleeya. Were so happy to find this group of people and hope to spend more time with them in the future.

Pictures from the month are littered in this post. Enjoy!

Pictures from Halloween to today!

2010-02-08T23:34:00.000-08:00

It's 2010!

2010-02-05T16:46:00.000-08:00

So I'm WAAAAAY behind on blogging and there is a LOT to update on Zaleeya and her current developments! I am now making a commitment that I will post ONCE a month. I wanted this to be a great scrapbook for Zaleeya someday... so I need to post regularly!

I am very very happy to report that she is doing SO WELL! I had our final adoption court date on January 13th where she got her teddy bear from the Judge (that we have aptly named "Judge"). In general, sleep has been much much better in the last few months. She is talking up a storm and starting to really form a personality. Most of her adoption behavior patterns that we used to see all the time (sitting in moms laps, trying to get the rooms attention, hugging other kids to death, stealing toys etc) are all under control and she is simply now just a normal, sometimes defiant, 2 year old who loves her parents and generally loves all people!

I will post a separate blog entry with pictures that can sum up the last few months, but here is a bullet point list of Zaleeya's favorite things/actions/people etc:

We went to visit Santa in December and since her sentences were still developing at that time I prompted her to tell Santa she wanted "princesses" for Christmas. Of course when Santa asked, out of nowhere, Zaleeya said "Shoes!". Go figure

We visited Vancouver for the holidays and she did VERY well with sleep in a new place. She napped at least an hour a day and 11-12 hours at night. The interesting part was that all 3 of us were sleeping the same room, something that Azeem and I were somewhat nervous about. But she managed to sleep well at night in her playpen. She threw no major tantrums, loved to play with her cousins Amina, Inara, Jayden and most of all just fell in love with ZAHID BHA! ("Bha" means brother)!

Getting back to sleep patterns after Vancouver took a few days of tough love, but eventually in the month of January we somehow settled into a sleep pattern of 1.5 to 2 hour naps! Mama is just such a happy woman.

Vancouver really spurred on an onslaught of new words and phrases. Now she speaking full sentences and loves to point to us and say "That's my mommy, that's my daddy". I love it when she tells me her glasses are "upside down". And I'm always impressed when she asks for "Mayai" and then asks for "Egg" which both mean the same thing in 2 different languages. Quite smart!

She continues to show an affinity for music and just LOVED watching Pink's Grammy rendition of her her favorite song of ALL time the "LaLa" song (Glitter in the Air). She now asks Daddy to sing "Papapeche Mode's'" "People are People" before night night and can recognize their songs when they come on. She also will immediately recognize Lady Gaga and loves her some Alicia Keys. Golly the girl has taste!

Barbie Shoes and pink sunglasses are her prized possessions. Yes, she is a girly girl.

Elmo seems to still be the only TV show that attacks her for long periods of time. Fine by us.

Food continues to get a little pickier... fruits and veggies are tough and crackers RULE. She still makes a bit of a mess when she eats but it's usually because she knows it makes Mommy mad.

She LOVES to talk on the phone. It's still a random conversation, but she looks cute and sounds cute doing it.

MommiYA! DaddiYA! ZaleeYA! ZiggYA! This is her favorite rhyming game.

Every night before we leave the room we have to sing happy birthday to someone, anyone, and sometimes anyTHING. It's a nice way to remember the people we might have met that day.

She continues to be very social around all our friends and family. She has a few favorite people that she loves to ask about, which is fun because now we'll just call them on the phone. And she is now a bit cautious around new people which we love because it signals to us that she is attached. She is a joy (and sometimes a terrible two year old) but in general she is just becoming more and more, OURS. :)

Gotchya Day!

2009-10-20T22:56:00.000-07:00

It's October 20th and exactly ONE YEAR ago today we picked up Zaleeya! We celebrated with a party over the weekend and today was a nice normal day. I'll do a more detailed update later, but for now here are some great pics from the last few weeks!

Zaleeya Turns TWO!

2009-08-27T20:08:00.000-07:00

Hello! It's Zaleeya's second birthday today, our first with her and we celebrated with a fun filled day of activities that she enjoys (books, playing in the pool, crackers, balloons, stickers, bubbles)! We plan to do a big celebration later in September with the whole family, so today was a lot of mommy and little Z time. :) Pics from the day are littered in the post.

Things continue to go incredibly well as we start to move past the adoption issues and into "normal" parenthood. Moving to Ladera has been a huge help to making us feel comfortable about our new roles, and keeping Zaleeya active with other kids her age. Here is the update...

Her weight continues to increase and she is a pretty good eater on most days. Teething has calmed and her fork/spoon control has improved. She still loves rice and crackers the best. I've kept her away from most sugary stuff and was happy to see her barely interested in the cupcakes that were offered her today! She is not about 21 lbs and looks much healthier than ever.

I am so happy to see many of our attachment

behavioral issues resolving. My favorite change is when we walk into a new situation and she clings to my skirt for a short time (under 5 mins). Soon thereafter she is off and running but those few minutes make me feel confident that she really knows where her "safety net". The grabbing of toys out of other kids hands in getting less and sitting in other moms laps is better too. However she is, and probably always be a very "touchy feely" child and super friendly. Most other kids don't react well to her when she tries to hug and kiss them but she is learning to be "gentle" in her love. :)

She has become quite attached to her stuffed animals since the sleep training process which I know is very healthy and normal. Now, during our bedtime routine, we must be holding: pepe, monkey, doggy, googoo, paula, and blankie all at once! Again it's wonderful to see her developing habits and comforts that represent her attachment to her "home".

SLEEP is amazing! Now after the routine we put her down and walk out of the room with hardly ever ANY crying! She talks herself to sleep in usually under 15 mins and wakes up talking to herself usually about 12 hours later. IT IS GLORIOUS!! Nap however still is an issues. Since her nighttime sleep got better, nap has been averaging 45 mins. Grrrr for mommy

who barely has time to get anything

done! However I really can't complain after all we've been through. It has made a huge differe

nce in all of our lives.

She is talking up a storm! This week's full sentence was "Ziggy Take It Outside". We are counting to three, we know all the names of the characters on Seseme Street and we love to say NO! She loves people and really knows the names of all the people in her life (there are a lot!). We have a few cousin babysitters now ("uby" for Ruby and "eesha" for Neesha and "ofia" for Sofia) As she falls asleep she runs through the names of all the people she saw that day. We especially like our new neighbors with a son exactly her age ("Locu" for Logan) who is her favorite playmate.

We have started some "terrible two" stuff with tantrums that feel a little different than her adjustment tantrums. These we can tell are related to her "wanting" something an

d not getting it. Since we feel more comfortable in our roles we now let her cry things out a bit or ignore her when she is acting out. Our biggest challenge in now "hitting", both other kids and us (especially mom). We've started some times outs and removal of privileges (Elmo gets turned off!) and we suspect it will just get better with time.

I must say that personally, I still have moments of "what have I done!" but in general I am settling into a groove. I do enjoy not having to juggle a thousand things at once! I can focus on keeping house and keeping Zaleeya busy. I have launched a new Jewelry business that I can do casually on the side (take a look at http://www.stelladot.com/zeena) and hopefully I'll take some Pilates clients in my new home studio in a few months when we put Zaleeya into a preschool program nearby. Phew I just can't sit still!

Anyhow enjoy the pics and thank you for reading!

We're moved in!

2009-06-10T22:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know, 2 months later. Phew! Finally we are moved in and working towards a more normal life. Here is the update in bullet point style:

We've moved into a gorgeous new home in Ladera Ranch, CA. This town is MADE for families with tons of moms and kids our age in the neighborhood. Unpacking and getting set up is a challenge with an active toddler, but we are working feverishly to be out of boxes and parking two cars in the garage. :)

Ever since the move 4 weeks ago, I (Zeena) decided to quit most of my day job (only work Saturdays) and spend my time helping Zaleeya adjust. The 2 moves in the last 3 months have been rough on all of us. I finally felt more like a mom, and ready to commit fully to my daughter and her needs. It's been a journey, but I'm finally beginning to enjoy it all. I actually attempt to cook and have dinner ready for dad when he comes home. Who knew I could do it!

Azeem is dealing with a longer commute in stride and continues to be amazing at juggling work and heping mom around the house. He is also super dad on Saturdays and spends the whole day with Zaleeya.

Nana and Nani (Zeena's Parents) now live 5 mins away which is a huge help. Dadi and Bapa (Azeem's Parents) are a bit further away but everyone is making an effort to make it not matter.

Zaleeya is totally adjusting better ever since we got into the new house. The first few weeks we witnessed a few tantrums (confusion we believe) but then she started really get into a rhythym. She has plenty of words now and has started to put them together (All Done). She has started to ask for specific foods (Crackers) and toys (Elmo!). She has finally developed an interest in books and can point and name a lot of pictures. She still loves putting things inside things and especially LOVES her new little house in the backyyard that the previous owners left for her!

We're still working on a few attachment issues that have manifested themselves in odd behavior such as sitting in other mom's laps in music class and constantly taking toys out of kids hands. My new favorite book (Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child by Patty Cogen) helped calm me down and explain why she is compelled to act these ways (control, belonging etc) and it's been a great comfort.

She has gained weight but is still barely 20 lbs and her active lifestyle now makes it harder to gain weight. However she is a great eater and will now try anything. She LOVES rice so mom hides veggies and meat in the rice to get it down! And will eat most fruits. Crackers (chips, goldfish etc) are her favorite as I think they help calm the ever constant teething. She finally mastered the art of eating with a fork/spoon, however mom keeps dog Ziggy nearby to help with the cleanup.

Our biggest issue still continues to be sleep. We weaned her cold turkey from the bottle and put her back into a crib (old crib, same room decor and color) and she did okay. Mom helped by sleeping next to her again for the first week. However after a few weeks it was apparent that her sleep issues were now becoming a habit and an "addiction" to having mama and dada around to comfort her. After lengthy reading and discussion with our social worker, it was time to sleep train. I must admit feeling quite relieved to start this process ,as some nights it was taking 1.5 hours to get her down (especially with no bottle) and perhaps 2-3 wakes ups a night! No one was happy! We started this past weekend, and as much as it's horrible to hear her "cry it out", we are all now going on 3 straight days of 12 hour night time sleep and 2 hour naps. Her personality is amazing and she has fewer tantrums and is more fun! Sleep was really holding her back. We know it's controversial to make an adopted child "self soothe", we just felt the sleep was more important. In fact, the reason I can blog now is because she is asleep at a decent hour!

Anyhow, enough for now. I'll be better from here on forward I promise! Thank you for tuning in!

Pictures of Zaleeya!

2009-04-13T15:36:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! We have finally moved out of our house and are settled in with my parents, and currently in escrow to buy a new home. PHEW! In the move, I somehow misplaced the camera. Oh no! But I have a few shots from cell phones I wanted to share with you quickly before naptime ends.

Zaleeya is still doing great and is fast becoming a super talker! New words include: Shoes, Bird, Car, More, Please, Blueberry (or a rendition of this), and our personal favorites, MAMA and DADA!

Littered here are pics with her grandparents (Nana and Nani) and Hedy and Emma (from Dillon). I promise to get more family pics ups soon! We are ALMOST at our 6 month anniversary home. WOW!

I Know I Know, it's been 2 months!

2009-03-08T21:36:00.000-07:00

Ok I know I'm a super bad blogger, but wow it's been a crazy few months! I keep procrastinating since I need to upload tons of pics and video so I decided today to just post an update and I'll upload later!

So it's the beginning of March, Zaleeya is now 18 months and she's been home a little over 4 months. Things are good in general! Let's start with the developmental milestones: She is walking like crazy! Running and walking backwards are also on the list. We can now go to a park or mall or other public place and let her stroll around. She hates holding our hands because she likes to explore, but she's pretty good at staying relatively close by. She still loves her Ziggy and Buzz (my mom's dog) and kisses them a lot and takes their slobbery kisses. She is currently OBSESSED with buckling anything that can be buckled including her high chair and stroller buckles. She can really understand us now and will respond to some actions like, let's go take a bath (walks to the stairs), are you hungry (walks to high chair) and let's read a book (gets a book). She has a few words now including "hot", "shoe", "ball" and "dada". She still doesn't have a name for me though. We keep working on "hi mama"!

As for our schedule, we keep it a little more hectic than we probably should. Tuesdays and Thursdays I head to work while my parents pick her up and take her to their place. It's like club med there with a swing and dog and backyard with putting green so she LOVES it! They also watch her once on the weekends so Azeem and I can escape for a date night or afternoon out. We also go visit grandma and grandpa Dhalla and stay there on occasion and the bonding process is going smoothly there was well. She's starting to figure out who her close friends and family are.

Zaleeya still has some sleep issues, some nights waking frequently, but in general it's better. Her eating is NORMAL toddler chaos since we're learning how to eat using a utensil. I wish she was more focused on eating than playing but she's drinking milk frequently and she seems to be growing out of her clothes gradually so I'm not terribly worried about her weight as much. She has gotten a few colds, again normal, but in general she is pretty darn healthy. We feel blessed on this front.

Another reason for being so hectic is that we decided to undertake a house change. We currently live in a 3 story house and it just wasn't working out for us with a crazy active toddler! So we expected a 60 to 90 wait in this crazy market, but after a week after listing we ended up in escrow with a solid offer! We are still waiting to make sure things are moving smoothly before we start packing, but in the mean time we have been looking for houses like CRAZY! Nothing yet, so our plan in the mean time is to move in with my parents to "club med" and take advantage of their unused 2nd floor bonus room. It will definitely feel like INDIA with a bunch of us living under one roof. :)

Anyhow that's it for now. I promise to upload a few things in the next few days!

NAWBO Baby Shower Fun!

2009-01-13T20:19:00.000-08:00

Before entering this world or Mommy madness, I was an active participant in the Orange County chapter of the National Association of Women Business Owners. More important than the monthly educational meetings, are the amazing women that I've met and who have supported me on this journey to motherhood.

Two years ago I participated in the mentor program and was matched with an AMAZING mentor, Beth Adkission, who was so generous in hosting a Baby shower for me this past weekend. We had decided to wait until after Zaleeya was home to do the shower so that everyone could meet her!

With food provided by another wonderful NAWBO friend/mentor Susan Johnson, the shower was so much fun as I got to bond with my favorite business ladies in Orange County. Complete with "Zaleeya Bingo", we drank wine, ate amazing food, and oohhed and ahhed over a creative array of gifts.

Zaleeya has gotten really good at handing social events and Daddy was around to help so Mom can socialize. She waddled around chasing the cats, eating strawberries and attempting to grab at everyone's wine glass and eat the cat food- normal toddler behavior. She was tired after a couple of hours and a bit over-stimulated but it was worth it!

Special thank yous to BETH and SUSAN for an amazing afternoon!

Zaleeya the Dancing Queen!

2009-01-01T21:34:00.000-08:00

So check out this video of Zaleeya's new dance moves now that she's walking... Enjoy!

Zaleeya the Walking Queen!

2008-12-28T20:34:00.000-08:00

So it's happened. Zaleeya has finally chosen walking as her primary mode of transportation. She actually can walk, turn, walk again, fumble, stand back up, walk again, turn, fall, and get up to walk again. She can also get up on the couch, pat her belly attempting to get Ziggy to "come", and put legos together. Here's a fun video for you to enjoy!

As for the holidays, they were super nice. We went to a fun party on the 23rd with a bunch of my friends from elementary, junior and high school. There were 7 children all under the age of 2.5!! BYOB (Bring your own baby) The house it was hosted in was baby proofed complete with high chair and dino chicken nuggets. It was the most fun I've had since being home. I finally fit in!!

On the 24th we also went to a party where Zaleeya charmed everyone, and she actually had the best night of sleep since she has been home (1 wake up). Her sleeping made Christmas amazing as we visited both sets of parents, napped, ate well and opened a ton of presents (these pics are with Cousin Kaden). However the high from the holidays ended when she came down with ANOTHER cold and passed it on the mom AGAIN! Now we all smell like Vicks.

I must be honest when I say that Zaleeya is doing much better than mom and dad. We still are both suffering a bit from the loss of our old lives. This past weekend we gave each other a chance to get out for a few hours, but when do we get to go out TOGETHER!!?? Some nights I look into my future and all I see is laundry, cooking, cleaning, warding off snot and poop. Maybe it's the post adoption blues, but sometimes I think I wasn't "made" to be a mom. I wonder what hormones I might have missed in the pregnancy process. The domestic gene never really hit me and this transition has been tough.

It doesn't mean we don't love Zaleeya to pieces; she's a pretty amazing little kiddie and fits our family perfectly! Anyhow, I promised to be honest in this blog, so there it is.

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!

Our Version of a Baby Book

2008-12-18T19:30:00.000-08:00

So everyone keeps saying, "you should put that in your baby book!". Well honestly, I am not crafty and barely have photo albums, so this blog is going to have to suffice. I figured it will have everything Zaleeya needs someday minus the strip of hair and first tooth. I can actually do video here, so I would say that a blog is better!

So in the spirit of her baby book, today's post is just a quick relay of her current major accomplishments. Still hesitant in walking, she is quite capable but still hasn't quite decided yet that she WANTS to walk as her primary mode transportation. She is finally settled into a schedule of one nap a day averaging 1.5 hours (though today she went 2.5 hours!!) and nightime continues to get better with usually only 1 to 2 wake ups. Mom is still quite tired (yes this is a quite appropriate picture of how daddy finds her most evenings).

She stills babbles a whole lot with her only intelligible word being "Giggy" (for Ziggy). She is starting to understand phrases such as "stand up" and "put your foot down" (when she's at the dinner table- her foot makes a constant apprearance). She likes to play with legos and tupperware and cups and anything she can chew up and spit out. She is teething big time; contantly drooling, fussy, chewing on things and drooling some more. She LOVES the bath and would spend hours there if allowed. And she still tolerates the stroller long enough for mom to get exercise.

There she is in a nutshell! We are venturing out more often now so we even have a picture with SANTA! She was quite facinated by the big white man with funny fur on his face. :)

Blogging during NAP TIME!

2008-12-10T12:50:00.000-08:00

Sorry it's been forever since we've blogged. I can't believe the holidays are here and it's been chaotic!

We went to Vancouver 2 weeks ago for the Thanksgiving Holiday! Yes we braved another plane flight but luckily this one was less than 3 hours and a piece of cake. Zaleeya continues to grow developmentally and has even gained a whole pound since she's been home! Her new favorite developmental exploration is placing objects "inside" each other. I giggle all time as she's fascinated with putting things down and inside her top. Not funny though when attempting to change a diaper and finding graham cracker crumbs!

Vancouver was probably premature but it was good timing to meet a whole slew of family at once due to our Imam's visit there (visit http://www.canadanews.net/story/432326 for more info on this). She slept pretty well and ate decently but did end up catching a cold from the chilly weather. :( Aspirating a runny toddlers nose is NO FUN!

She's getting closer and closer to walking. We posted a video below so you can see a few of her first unsupported steps. Daddy is a good walking teacher. I can't wait to see how it goes when he teaches her to DRIVE!

We opted for a small tabletop tree after much contemplation this year to avoid having to stop her from eating the tree all the time. I am happy we have a tree and daddy is happy it's small enough to toss in the trash can at the end of the season. Zaleeya didn't even notice the tree's existence.

Anyhow this will be a short but sweet entry for now since her naptime is almost over! I will be better about posting in the coming weeks...

Online OCRegister Link

2008-12-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

Here is the online link to Baby Z's Newspaper Debut!

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/zaleeya-day-sleep-2248197-few-children

The hard copy has about 4 pictures as well as a teaser picture on the FRONT page of the newspaper! Enjoy...

OC Register on December 8th!

2008-12-03T12:58:00.000-08:00

Hello to all our blog readers! If you are LOCAL to Orange County make sure you pick up a copy of the OCRegister on December 8th and check out the LIFE section. Our blog and Zaleeya's story will be featured. Fun!

A Day at the Beach!

2008-11-20T16:33:00.000-08:00

Hello! So last Saturday we took advantage of the hot weather to hit the beach with baby Z and doggy Z. After taking much longer to get out of the house than expected (welcome to parenthood) we made it in time for an amazing sunset. Today's post is all about sharing the pictures. Enjoy!

How Do I Find Time To Blog?!?

2008-11-13T12:35:00.000-08:00

Azeem said to me the other day, "The last blog post was Nov 4th!". I apologize, but honestly, how does one have time to do anything anymore? A friend with two kids sent me a long email yesterday in the middle of the day. I thought to myself, she must be emailing during NAP time! I have learned to shower before both Azeem and Zaleeya wake up and check emails on my phone while she munches on cheese. It's a very delicate balance and luckily getting better by the day.

Baby Z is doing pretty well. We found out last week she had a little stomach parasite- quite normal for kids in her situation so we had to do a course of antibiotics. It's no fun trying to squeeze a syringe of horrible tasting liquid down a squirming 1 year old's mouth THREE times a day. And her diarrhea and fussiness that ensued as a result of the meds was no fun either. However despite this, last week she seemed to start to settle into a groove; I even started sleeping in my own bed for half the night and only moving into her room once she awoke for her midnight changing.

However everything changed this past Monday when she decided to stop taking her bottle. It shocked me as her bottle has been something she SCREAMED for up until now. I even took her to the doctor fearful of an ear infection, only to find out she's teething. Luckily we learned at the doctor that she has gained 7 oz in 2 weeks! I must say I was happy to see I was able to help someone GAIN weight despite my profession. She still doesn't take the bottle, or milk in any kind of fashion, which worries me as it was a large source of calories in her diet.

Feeding time is really quite stressful. She only really likes to eat foods she can feed herself and often wont try a lot of things after a quick sniff. Fish sticks, tator tots, chicken nuggets, sweet potato fries, rice crackers and graham crackers are staples. She likes a few Indian sweets and of course will never turn down a piece of cheese. Fruits are veggies are still alluding her, much to my horror and dismay. I'm waiting for the day I drive through the McDonalds drive through; don't be alarmed if I'm wearing a mask so as to not be recognized.

Despite the meds, and teething, she continues to do quite well and seems to be adjusting to her family. She gets very excited when Azeem comes home from work and is still quite clingy to both of us. Despite this, she is great with new people and will play and giggle and explore as long as one of us is near by. She now recognizes our favorite song on the radio and understands when we ask her "Where's Ziggy". She stands on her own occasionally and has taken a few unsupported steps on her own. She is fearless and flexible and fantastically joyous. She cracked me up yesterday when she started to climb into her leggo dump truck. I thought it was cute so I snapped a picture, and then looked up to realize she had paused to POOP. She climbed into her DUMP truck to take a DUMP! Oh my... I guess we should start looking forward to potty training.

As for parenthood, Azeem and I are still struggling with the loss of independence. I particularly have had moments of extreme lows- feeling claustrophobic. However we feel more comfortable that Zaleeya is adjusting so my mom is starting to watch her an hour here and there so I can escape for some exercise and fresh air. We're formulating a plan for me to go back to work 2-3 days a week in January which I know will be good for everyone.

Anyhow it's naptime (of course) so I'll see if I can squeeze in a nap myself. Thank you as always to everyone for the amazing support!

The Day Baby Z Went Down!

2008-11-04T12:30:00.000-08:00

I apologize for a long break between posts. Being home now is all consuming, especially since Zaleeya is definately bonding with her parents and getting more demanding of us each day.

But let me back up. Feeling conident and finally excited about our new (adorable) daughter, Azeem and I embarked on one too many trips outside the home last Friday. At the time Zaleeya seemed ok. She fussed a lot getting in and out of the car seat but eventually calmed down and often snoozed while the car was in motion. We attempted a nap that day which barely lasted and then that night her sleep was quite erratic - up every hour or two. Saturday was worse; she didn't nap at all! Both of us started to melt down, especially me and we could tell Zaleeya was especially cranky feeding off my stressed out energy. It's amazing the thoughts that go through your mind when under extreme sleep deprivation!

Finally, again, we called for reinforcements. First I posted on the Dillon adoption forums for tips of how to overcome our problems, then we called in my in-laws for a relief break. The Dillon moms were amazing in reminding us how easily stimulated these adopted children can get in the beginning. We have to remember that ALL she saw for 14 MONTHS was the inside of 4 walls. So we decided to slow way down out trips and visitors, knowing that down the line we can resume our active social schedules. As for Saturday night, Mom and Dad saved the day by helping us feed and put her to sleep. She slept for 12 hours that night and Azeem and I escaped for a 45 min sushi date!! We have decided that for my mental state to remain positive for baby Z, I will need to escape from our home for an hour or two every few days.

As for Zaleeya now, she has gotten more clingy and needy of us, which everyone says is normal and good for the attachment process. It can be overwhelming, as its impossible to get anything done! She continues to speak more and smile and dance. Early early mornings are her best times as she is a super babbler and we've included some fun video of this. This gives new meaning 'of "egg on your face!" She and I have a favorite song now (Alicia Keys "No One") as we listen to the radio most of the day. She enjoys her new stroller but is still apprehensive to try a swing at the park. She loves to play with paper and tupperware and is warming up to playing in the bathtub. The most fun thing to watch is her bond with Ziggy as she genuinely smiles and giggles sometimes when he shows up and surprises her. And he is warming to her now frequently sniffing and licking and even snuggling with me now in the bed in her room.

Anyhow its 6am now and the house should be awaking soon so Ill sign off! Enjoy the video...

This Child is NOT a Vegan...

2008-10-29T20:43:00.001-07:00

I (Zeena) write at the end of the DAY 5 of Zaleeya's homecoming. She is asleep, in her own crib, hoping this will last to at least 5am. Please hope with us.

I think many people reading this blog have enjoyed it due to our openness and candid reflection of this process, therefore I will continue to be honest. The last few days have been tough, but luckily things are finally paying off. It's amazing what a little sleep will do for everyone!

After a few fitful nights of sleep, we decided to move me into Zaleeya's room to sleep with her. We had been advised to "co-sleep", which means to put her in our bed, but we decided this was not the decision for us. Instead we aimed to get her comfy in her crib, and moving me into the room has made a major difference in the last two nights! Poor thing- we imagine it's been a bit scary for her to sleep in her own room. She is quite fitful and moves a lot in her sleep (still some head banging, which is normal) therefore it makes us ALL feel better that I'm nearby in case she wants comfort. The bonding between us if definitely beginning to form as she turns to me for comfort, and to daddy for good old fashion jungle gym play.

Our trip to the pediatrician on Monday was excellent. The only concern so far is her weight- she is only 15.5 lbs! So much to the dismay of her gluten free, dairy free fishatarian mother, this child's diet consists of cheese, butter and dark meat chicken. Crazy! She has a pretty healthy appetite and in fact SCREAMS when she doesn't get her food in time, so feeding her hasn't been too much of an issue. Messy.... but I've discovered that messy is now my middle name.

I must admit, I still have feelings of "what have I done to my life!!" Her tantrums are quite shocking- she loves to flail her body all over and down right scare both her her parents, but over the last few days we've figured out what some of the cries mean. Usually a diaper change and a feeding will suffice. Luckily her smiles have begun to melt both of our hearts and her personality is emerging. She loves to dance, has hot feet syndrome like her mother and never keeps her socks on, and still loves to chase Ziggy. She always crawls with a toy in her hand and her standing is getting stronger every day. She started to really babble today and learned how to wave goodbye. It is still quite funny though to compare her to children her own age (like the pic with her new playmate Daniel born 3 days after her), she is so tiny! It's like she's gone from newborn to toddler in one week!

I got my first comment today from someone who said "she's tiny just like her mother!". I was more surprised as the assumption that I'm tiny (I'm 5'8") versus the assumption she is made from my genes.

I sign off now since I just found my poor husband asleep on the couch. Time for us all to go to bed! Thank you to everyone for the continued support of our new family.

Zaleeya vs. Ziggy, Round One

2008-10-26T05:08:00.001-07:00

I am happy to report that I am in a much better mental state than I was in 24 hours ago, 12 hours ago and even 6 hours ago. Let’s hope it sticks.

After the NIGHTMARE grueling flights we landed on US soil happy to be home, hoping we sail through the “green card” process at the airport. Unfortunately we were displeased to find out we were supposed to have received a “cover sheet” to our visa packet from Kolkata. After numerous attempts to convince them we didn’t receive one while I was melting down trying to calm a hungry baby, we got our green card were off to greet the family. Luckily Zaleeya was miraculously in a wonderful mood to greet both grandmas, Saleem Uncle, Melanie Aunty and cousin Kaden (10 months). Luckily baby Kaden had some food to share with Zaleeya (to help melting mom) and she fell right asleep once in the car seat! I was pleased as this had been a source of stress for us both. No car seats in India!

We approached the house as we suddenly realized that our baby was going to meet her “best friend” Ziggy soon! Even in her slightly foggy state she reached for him immediately as we let out a collective sigh, happy to see she wasn’t afraid. Ziggy on the other hand seem to sniff and wander around a bit displeased. Since it was supposed to be 11pm we put Zaleeya back to sleep hoping it would last, however at 4am she was wide awake at the displeasure of both parents working on only 2-3 hours of sleep! However these moments were most precious as she started to explore her open spaces and crawl all over. She smiled giggled, reached for Ziggy a lot and ate well. However the meltdowns started again and there were a few hours of the whole household suffering for a bit as she eventually went down for a nap (thanks to Daddy!).

While napping we called in reinforcements in the form of Saleem Uncle and Melanie Aunty with cousin Kaden and what a difference it made! I think it was good for Zaleeya to be around another baby again and WONDERFUL for the parents to have people to ask a ton of questions of! Also, the time passed and baby Z got super tired. I’m happy to report that as of 10pm she is fast asleep (in her own crib). Again, let’s hope it lasts.

I look forward to watching more interactions in the coming days, though I must admit to still feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. How in the world am I ever going to handle all this when Azeem gets back to work???

Oh and as for Round One, Zaleeya wins hands down. Poor Ziggy was chased around by a crawling baby all day. So far his only advantage is his speed, but one day she’ll catch him!

Planes, puffs and panic

2008-10-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

I am writing this bloc entry from a backberry from the plane. Thank goodness for modern technology!
To say things are "hunky dorey" would be a lie. Little Z is still coming out of her shell, which would be a good thing except for the 30 hour travel time home! This is more than a little bit crazy... Where is my concord jet?
You have two inexperienced parents on two back to back 10 hour plane flights with a still traumatized little girl discovering her voice, her ability to throw toys and tantrums. Add in the sleeplessness and teething and you have a fun time!
Here is what we have learned from our first flight:
1. Wear clothes you don't mind getting food all over, and bring changes for everyone!
2. Bulkhead seats with bassinet is the only way to go. Even if she doesn't sleep in it at least its storage for all the crap!
3. The bottle is your friend. Always have one ready and throw all notions of a eating and sleeping schedule out the window! Also feed them in the bassinet so if they fall asleep you don't have to move them. :)
4. Don't bother bringing entertainment for yourself. Those days are over.
5. Snack snack snacks! The puff snacks have worked wonders for us.
6. Learn how to change a diaper with your kid standing up. Seriously.
7. Patience patience patience. All I can think is "there's no place like home!".

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

The Marvels of Adoption

2008-10-22T08:27:00.000-07:00

Today has been a day much like yesterday. Some meltdowns and some smiles. Zaleeya is coming out of her shell little by little. Today we enjoyed a nice meal at Pizza Hut (yes, Zeena ate in a Pizza place!) where she actually played with the menus and tried to eat our spagetti. However between all the playing she still whines a lot and needs to be held- everyone is telling us it's normal. Our major milestone was learning how to drink out of a sippy cup! And I'm marveling at how messy feeding a one year old can be. Thank goodness all my travel clothes are already dirty!

So instead of giving you a specific play by play of the day, we've decided to give you a list of things that we see so far in Zaleeya that are like us. It's kind of amazing! Here are our favorites:

1. Curly hair like her mom: what are the chances of getting a baby with a mop of curls just like Zeena.

2. Taller than most Indians, like both her parents: you won't believe how long her limbs are. It's hilareous!

3. Flops around in her sleep like her mom: I'm sure this is true for most kids but we like to believe she takes after Zeena.

4. Loves her food like her mom: this girl gets seriously cranky when she hungry and sees her food. Sounds like someone we know!

5. Eyes and forehead like her dad: the resemblance is striking and her eyes show the warmth and love that her father is famous for.

We thought this was nice to share. Maybe those of you who meet her will find more traits that link her to her new parents. Thank you to all who are reading and commenting on this blog. It's so fun to have you with us on this journey!

Little Z's BIG First Day

2008-10-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

I (Zeena) am going to try to be specific on this blog entry- particularly for those first time moms who intend to go through this process at some point. I will admit it's been quite stressful on many levels. My first thought when we brought her back to our room was "What have we done! We have no idea what we are doing!". I think Azeem has settled into parenthood emotionally faster than myself.

For the first few hours all she did was cry. She wouldn't even look us in the face for fear of realizing she had not idea who we are. Finally after a few hours she latched on to a toy, ate a few bites and relaxed just a bit. In fact we saw a little smiling when we played some music and she moved to the beat. A dancer we think!

Around 9pm last night she took most of her bottle and actually fell asleep and slept for 12 FULL hours! It was crazy. We actually had to wake her up in the morning. Today has been better. The winy crying has reduced, she ate a full day full of meals, pooped twice (I think this is normal??) and smiled a lot more. It's like watching a turtle emerge from a shell. Every once in a while she looks at me and grabs at certain features, like she is learning my face. Other times she grabs on super tight as has no desire to look at who she is grabbing on to. We can literally see her grieving in front of our eyes. We got a good taste of this grief at dinner tonight when she WAILED uncontrollably, while mommy cried with her. I must say we feel quite responsible for her grief- taking her from her home she knows and loves. But then she smiles and we realize that this is part of the bonding process. It's quite amazing.

By the way, there is some wonderful shopping in this area around our hotel (The Kenilworth). Pantaloons is amazing for kids stuff! We got 20 items (clothes/ diapers) for equivalent of $100. So I recommend to any Dillon mom to wait to do major shopping until you get here. We put her in the baby bjorn and it made for a good adventure. Easy 7 min walk away- though it is the streets of India so walk carefully!

We're including as many pics as possible. I need to sign off now as I'm exhausted. I am beginning to understand this whole "tired mother" thing.

PS We got the visa thing done. It was quite easy as the paperwork from Delhi arrived quickly. She is ready to go home! We will wait until Friday though- we feel we all need the adjustment time.

Little "Z" Day!

2008-10-20T03:44:00.000-07:00

Both of us are writing this one! We picked up Zaleeya/Pratima this afternoon, after a nervous night and morning. We had a nice quiet breakfast at the hotel, and then we headed off in our hired car to the orphanage. We met with Mrs. Roy the woman who has run the Orphanage for the last 20 years. She is a truly wonderful person and we could tell that all the women who worked there, love the children very much.

We were expecting to go in and see Zaleeya/Pratima after finishing our paperwork which took about 45 minutes, however one of the Ayahs (caretakers) brought her in to see us instead. We were totally caught by suprise (in a good way) and finally set our eyes on the daughter we've been waiting for for so long. She was a scared at first which was expected, and clinged to her Ayah while we got a little closer. She went to Zeena for a bit, then Azeem and then the chaos began of taking pictures. We were taking photos and videos of all the waiting children, and since we are one of the first few families traveling after a long break we had a LOT to take! The children were all super adorable- hopefully we did ok for all the Dillon families waiting for their children.

We handed Zaleeya/Pratima back to her caretakers for another hour while we rode with Ms Roy to the other facility where the special needs children are taken care of. I must admit, this was a tougher part of the day. Those children there definately seemed to need a lot of love and care.

Then we headed back to pick up Zaleeya/Pratima for good. Luckily she had fallen asleep while we were gone which made her a lot more mellow for the car ride home. She rested on mommy's chest for the ride. Since then we've managed 2 diaper changes and a yummy banana/milk meal. She is taller than we expected- very long and skinny arms and legs! She is obviously very traumatized and upset and crying a lot. We hope this will subside in time. I think we are all a bit shellshocked! We are feeling very sad for her as we know she misses her ayahs.

That's all for now. Hopefully we'll get some pics up of her smiling soon!

On the Eve of Motherhood

2008-10-19T08:14:00.000-07:00

We're safely in Kolkata now, unpacked in our comfy room and done with our shopping and sighteseeing. My cousin Farah, who I really consider a sister, joined us for our Agra adventure and the four of us flew Kingfisher (wonderful!) to Kolkata last night. We have our appointment at the children's home to pick up Pratima (we will call her this during the transition) tomorrow at 12pm- note that we are 12.5 hours ahead of PST.

I've been writing this blog entry in my head for a few weeks now; ever since I arrived in India. You could actually argue that I've been writing this for over 4 years, ever since Azeem and I decided we wanted to expand our family.

I never imagined I would be getting on a plane and expanding our brood in this unusual fashion. The last few years have been tumultuous to say the least, and through it our amazing support system of friends and family kept saying "don't worry, what is supposed to happen, will happen". But seriously, do you know how hard it is to hold on to this faith through thick and thin? I've never really been the patient type; I married into this trait for a reason.

Well now that I'm on the eve of Motherhood, I can attest it feels true. Spending some time getting to know this amazing land has given me resolve that this was our true path . Sure I'm nervous, terrified actually. But traveling and living here for 3 weeks has given me some wonderful peace and perspective.

I've held back talking about the myriad of children I've seen on the streets here. Everywhere you look you see naked babies, ragged clothed toddlers and barefoot children running freely on the streets. At first glance you feel a sadness for their fate. However other times I envy their naivety, as this existence is all they know. Lack of education shelters them from wanting or needing more.

When a little girl pokes at my window and asks for money, I of course can only think of Zaleeya. People say we are giving her a wonderful gift by bringing her to our family where she will be raised with education and a future. However I think it's important to remember that she will also be a gift to us; bringing us joy, frustration, happiness, laughter and tears forever. But I believe the greatest gift was given to all of us by her birth mother. To her we thank and respect with our hearts wide open.

So on this eve I leave you with a quote that I actually heard on one of my Yoga podcasts while on this trip. The writer is Anais Nin, and it spoke to me quite deeply:

"It takes courage to push yourself to places you've that never been before. To test your limits. To break through barriers. And then the day came that the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud, was more painful then the risk it took to blossom."

Please keep reading our blog, as the journey has only just begun.

So You Think You're a Good Driver??

2008-10-19T05:21:00.001-07:00

So ever since I (Azeem) got here about a week ago I've been fascinated by the way people drive in India. My first experience was taking a cab from the airport to the hotel, it was 6:30 AM so the roads were pretty empty. However the first thing I noticed was that even if there are lanes on the road drivers don't stay in them. This is because they are constantly keeping their options open. The second thing I noticed is that all kinds of vehicles are fair game on all roads. Here is a list of the hierarchy of vehicles/items on the road: monkeys, dogs, goats, pedestrians, bicyclists, rickshaws, food vendor carts, horse or ox drawn carts, farm equipment, construction equipment, scooters, motorcycles, motorized rickshaws, small cars, SUVs and vans, buses, large trucks, and lastly cows. Yes cows trump everything else on the road. You don't have to stop for a pedestrian but you do need to yield for the cow. The cow is revered in the Hindu religion as the provider for all sustenance. It is referred to as "Mata" or "Mother" translated into English.

The rules of the roads were very confusing to me at first. Coming from the US we are used to some of the most structured driving rules in the world. I consider myself a good driver in many respects. But I would never even try driving here. First of all I have no idea how to use a horn! In India the horn is the most useful feature in a car. It is more important than your brakes! The horn is used to convey the following: get out of my way, move off my lane, you're in my lane, I'm in your blind spot(this is the most important), I'm coming through and not stopping for you, and lastly watch out I'm about to hit you! All this seem the same, but actually, how you honk the horn actually conveys certain messages. I'm still learning this part.

As confusing as everything is on the roads here, I have to say, I have yet to see a fender bender or accident, which is amazing once you see this video:

Lastly, two more important things to note, seatbelts are rarely used if at all available in cabs and they drive on the wrong side of the road (like in Great Britain). I am really looking forward to getting into my car, strapping on a seatbelt, and driving on the 405, in my own lane... :)

The Greatest Love Story

2008-10-16T07:57:00.000-07:00

India can be a land of surprises, and despite having seen the Taj Mahal millions of times in pictures, in person it still surprised me (this is Zeena by the way!). After a 5 hour rough bus ride and a fitful night’s sleep on hard beds in our less than stellar hotel room, my thoughts regarding this Agra detour were, “this better be worth it.” Luckily, when we rounded the corner to the gate at 6:15am this morning, the first glance took my breath away.

It’s hard to explain, but the magnificence of this monument is overwhelming. With the sun rising and the crowds beginning to pour in, the grounds came alive and the beauty unfolded. Something that is difficult to see in pictures is the details and texture of the stone. The marble has many facets to it, and the sunlight at different times of day makes the stone look different colors. After an hour of wandering around taking pictures at multiple angles, we still didn’t want to leave and kept looking behind us before we walked away.

But an even bigger surprise is the story behind the Taj Mahal. Built in the 1600’s by the 4th Mogul (Muslim) Emperor Shah Jahan, this building took 20,000 workers everyday for 22 years to construct. It was built in honor of his 3rd wife, Mumtaz who died giving birth to her 14th child. Their love was so great that he built this monument for her after her death.

But let me back up for a second. Yes, she was Shah Jahan’s third wife (of 4!) and he even had many other “unofficial wives”. This was a time when marriages were often not for love, but for political gains and a blending of blood lines. And men took multiple wives. But yet despite this, a man loved a woman and together they married against the wills of their families and lived for 19 years. Mumtaz was the only wife that bore his children and after her death he took no more wives. In fact Shah Jahan’s son eventually took power from him and imprisoned him in the Red Fort where he died on a balcony that directly faced the Taj Mahal.

So in this land of surprises, we find a love story so great that millions come from around the world to see its monument. It’s been an appropriate way to start winding down our days of travel and get ready for OUR family love story ahead.

Azeem's Excellent Adventure in Delhi!

2008-10-14T19:24:00.000-07:00

So, it’s Azeem finally blogging here. I know you have all enjoyed Zeena’s stories for the last couple of weeks as have I. But now I have a chance to contribute to the saga. The trip here was actually quite easy, just long. I got into Delhi on Monday morning, managed to get a “prepaid” cab and make it to the hotel all before breakfast. Yesterday, was kind of quiet, as you may have read in the previous blog, but today (Tuesday) was quite an eventful day.

We started our day using the car and driver that will eventually take us to Agra tomorrow. Our first stop was to the US Embassy to file for Zaleeya’s VISA, luckily there was no American Holiday today! We got in line about 8:45 and were ushered in about 45 minutes later. The inside of the Embassy grounds was like a park, quite tranquil and serene. The only people we saw while walking to the USCIS office were gardeners working on the gardens and lawns. We spent another hour and a half in the waiting room, until we were called in for our meeting. We were a little nervous, well actually I was really nervous, since the paperwork has been my responsibility to complete. We went through the paperwork one item at a time and then the processor asked us about our address, which was kind of weird. We said it’s in “Irvine” he replied “yes I know, but where in Irvine is your house”, so Zeena said, “off Sand Canyon and the 405”. I’m thinking, how did we just get into a conversation about a freeway and directions to our house with an adoption processor in India? Well come to find out he LIVES in IRVINE! We just travelled 8000 miles to have our paperwork processed by a guy who took a 2 year job with the US Embassy, who happens to live 5 miles from us. Small world, go figure… Needless to say the rest of our 10 minute meeting went just fine and we were on our way to start our tour for the day.

Next stop was to Old Delhi. Delhi is a city with two identities. New Delhi is representative of its colonial British rule. It’s apparent in the architecture and design of the streets (many roundabouts). Old Delhi is much older and shows it’s influence from the Mogul rulers of centuries ago, with it’s Islamic architecture and mosques. One of which was the largest mosque in India called the “Jama Masjid”. We stopped there and walked through the mosque; Zeena had to wear a cover since she was wearing short sleeves and capri pants (check out the guy on the cell phone!). On our exit, we took rickshaws for what we thought would be a “short little ride” to the Red Fort. Boy, were we in for an adventure! Our ride took us through the Chawari Bazzar, which ended up becoming a 1 hour whirlwind tour of a crowded bazaar that looked right out of a movie, but in fact it was the real thing. There were twists and turns through alleys, total gridlock where no one could move for minutes at a time, all sorts of close calls with scooters, other rickshaws and pedestrians. This is not recommended for those who are even remotely claustrophobic, because there are a lot of people in a very small space with all kinds of commotion going on. It was amazing to see how the crowd just flowed in chaotic elegance, and in the end everyone got where they needed to. With a little bit luck, we got to where we needed to be which was to the Red Fort.

The Red Fort “Lal Qila” was built by Mogul Emporor Shah Jahan (also the builder of the Taj Mahal) in 1638. It’s a magnificent Fort built to fortify the Mogul palace and his personal grounds. It’s now more like a park with people relaxing in the courtyards enjoying what has been nice weather, a bit warm but not stifling hot like we expected. We then finished off our tour with a drive by of the parliament and presidential buildings and a quick walk through the Gate of India, where we happened to see the changing of the guards ceremony. All in all, today was the day I realized that I was in India. I was truly amazed at the diversity of culture and history, even though I’ve only seen a small fraction of the country, but I have a new found respect and fascination for the land of my origins.

The Day Zeena Went Down

2008-10-13T03:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so, they all warn you. Don’t get sick in India! Don’t drink the water, only eat in nice restaurants, don’t eat fruits or veggies, etc etc. Well I followed all the rules, but still got a little bug. Well not exactly little, enough to knock me over for over 24 hours. Please don’t order Malai Kofta from Nero’s restaurant in Jaipur.

The night before our flight to New Delhi I started to get feverish. I took some Tylenol but a few hours later the symptoms got worse, and let’s just say it took the maximum dosages of Tylenol and Immodium to get me on the plane to Delhi the next morning! All blog entries about the pleasantries of flying in India are now retracted, because the Jaipur airport was a bit of a nightmare (smaller airport) and combined with my illness, the trip was tough. Once in Delhi though we checked into our super nice room and I slept, and drugged myself up, and slept. I didn’t emerge from the room until this morning after Azeem arrived to our room. YES! Azeem is here!

I write about this because it’s part of the experience. The lesson learned is two-fold: don’t get overconfident, and ALWAYS travel with Tylenol and Immodium. Instead of posting pictures of me sleeping in a bed, I decided to litter the blog entry with all my favorite beautiful pictures in India. The first sunset is from Yasmin’s place, the second from our hotel in Mumbai, and the third from our hotel here in Delhi. The pool shot is in Jaipur.

A few hours after Azeem got here today we went to the US embassy to file Zaleeya’s visa forms. We arrived in our taxi to find the embassy CLOSED. After watching and being careful about all the Indian holidays, we forgot today is COLUMBUS DAY. Hilarous! Luckily we have 2 more days here so it won’t be an issue, but alas we all got a good chuckle out of this one. I can see Tami (our amazing adoption coordinator from Dillon) rolling over in her sleep as I type.

Anyhow hopefully tomorrow I can join the men and gallivant a bit in Delhi and see the town. We pick up Zaleeya a week from today!

The Day I Rode an Elephant!

2008-10-10T18:56:00.000-07:00

Yes, it’s time to talk Jaipur now! For those of you not familiar with Indian geography, Jaipur is in the northern part of India in the state of Rajasthan. The town is known for a few things. First it’s called the Pink City due to the coloring of many of the buildings, and well, it is quite pink. Or more like coral. Jaipur is also known for its artistry and marble/stone exportation. I’ve had to lift my shopping hiatus here because there are so many artists at work offering jewelry, textiles and painting. Gem stones are huge, which if course is incredibly tempting.

The history of Jaipur is also interesting, as it’s a town with a rich and long story. The main attraction is the Amer fort, which was built by the Hindu king Man Singh about 400 plus years ago. Man’s sister was married off to the Muslim Moghul king Akber the Great which made for the first major Hindu/Muslim alliance and in turn helped to expand the Moghul Empire in India.

Upon arriving in Jaipur on Thursday night, I knew immediately we were in the country. The roads were less crowded and I could see (even in the dark) wide open countryside. Our hotel was beautiful, however I couldn’t really appreciate the beauty until I awoke the next day to the most amazing lake view! I’ve included a picture of course.

We rented a car/driver who took us to Amer fort and requested an English tour guide to help us for the day. As soon as we got out of the car we got ushered into the area where we were encouraged to board an elephant for a ride up to the fort! Yes, an elephant! Luckily boarding this gigantic monster was easy as we walked up a set of stairs to a platform at the level of the top of the elephant. I wasn’t fearful at all as we climbed on and slowly started our rocky accent up to the top of the fort. Our poor elephant seemed to be a bit lazy as were passed by another elephant, but eventually we made it. The pictures from this part are amazing, especially of my father donning his new hat. Maharaja (King) Mohamed rules the fort!

The fort itself was interesting as we toured with our guide who spoke a variation of English. Honestly I struggled to understand his broken, often repetitive phraseology but he was gracious and pointed out some beautiful things we would not have noticed otherwise. Along the fort we saw some snake charmers (Rajni I had to mention this!). Yes real snakes! I was nervous to even get close enough to drop off my 10 rupee tip.

After a grueling few hours in the heat at the fort we ventured into some shopping area where we watched them make rugs, textiles and jewels. We decided to spend our second day dedicated in Jaipur to shopping! After the fort and a stop of a quick Indian lunch, we headed to the City Palace where we saw some interesting astronomical equipment (ala Galileo). I guess Man Singh’s heir Jai Singh was a big fan and had an entire area dedicated to devices to help him read the sun, moon and stars. If I didn’t already miss my husband, this sealed the deal. He would have enjoyed this!

If you can believe, in the span of 24 hours in Jaipur, we met some lovely (notice use of word) business travelers from Laguna Niguel and then ran into some Ismailis from the San Fernando Valley at the City Palace! Small, small world.

For the Dillon moms interested in maybe visiting Jaipur, I would recommend 2 days here; there isn’t that much to see however the fort is worth it and it is quite relaxing. Make sure you choose a nice hotel since you will spend most of your time here; unlike the bustling big city of Mumbai this is more of a resort style local. We are at the Trident hotel which is beautiful and has a nice restaurant with good food.

Anyhow today (Saturday) is a day of rest including some pool time and shopping. We head off early to Delhi tomorrow where we start expanding our traveling crew: Azeem comes Monday and my cousin Farah flies in from Kabul on Wednesday. Here we start the paperwork process for Zaleeya and the realism of why we are here is starting to set in!

Random Thoughts of Mumbai

2008-10-10T05:08:00.000-07:00

I’ve left Mumbai now and am about to embark on my first day in Jaipur, however I still have thoughts and experiences left to share. In no particular random order:

TIFFINWALA (aka Dubawalla): My father bragged about this for days and we planned to go see this phenomenon at work in downtown Mumbai. Many of the local suburb families make food for the husbands/ wives who work downtown. This food is placed in a tall series of tin cans called tiffins (like Tupperware) and then placed in a cloth bag. This food is collected by a collector in the morning and sent on an unimaginable journey by train, then bike or push cart to the recipient downtown. Imagine 500,000 tiffins delivered on time, at their exact desired location, with no computer assistance! And this service costs less than 300 rupees a month ($8). At around 12pm each day you can watch the tiffins unloaded from the train station and then distributed to the motorbike/pushcart delivers. My father has likened this to the "fedex" of food delivery service.

Unfortunately, the day we planned to watch this at work, happened to be a holiday! Silly Americans forgetting that there are MANY holidays in October in India as the Hindus have a 9 day festival at the beginning of the month (Navrati) and then Diwali, the festival of lights on Oct 28th. Anyhow I was sad to have missed this, but thought it was worth the mention. Oh and I did include a pic of out hotel decorated with flowers for the end of Navrati festival.

CRICKET: This games is HUGE here and I finally got to see some playing. My father was the captain of his high school team so he's quite versed in the sport and he has been attempting to teach me the rules. Currently there is a Indian/Australian "test match" going on which is quite important and on a lot of the news stations. Australia is the best team currently, therefore the Indian team loyalty is in full force. I've included a great action pic of some locals playing in the big field in downtown Mumbai.

SERVICE: I’m not sure why Indians can’t seem to get it right in the states, but the service here to far in India has been excellent! I believe it’s the “upper class/ lower class” divide that makes the workers in the hotels and restaurants incredibly gracious and helpful. In the hotels, each employee you pass in the hall greets you with hello or Namaste and jumps at any request or opportunity to open your door. I’ve included a pic of our afternoon fruit service at our hotel in Mumbai.

AIR TRAVEL: I must admit to having been a bit nervous getting into our car heading to the airport for our flight to Jaipur. How ridiculous this seems now as the experience was better than in the states! Again the upper class here seem to have it made as the airport was shiny, clean, air conditioned and offered excellent customer service. The airplane was brand spanking new, had great leg room, offered DELICIOUS Indian food and left and landed EXACTLY on time. In fact from the time we landed to the time we were in our car, it took 15 minutes (fast baggage claim!).

Anyhow I’m in Jaipur now and have a host of new experiences to share but you’ll just have to wait for the next blog entry.

Yoga, In India

2008-10-10T04:52:00.000-07:00

Those who know me well are aware that I’ve recently discovered the benefits of Yoga both physically and mentally. It’s also helped that I’ve worked at YogaWorks for the last 8 months! My exploration of Yoga is still incredibly new, however I knew I couldn’t leave here without at least a little experience of Yoga in its home country.

It’s quite intimidating here, and actually nearly impossible to “drop in” to a class. Most studios require you to go through a medical check up with a doctor and have rigorous beginner programs for people starting out. So “jumping” into a Vinyasa Flow class like I do at home just clearly became an impossibility.

However with the cost of labor being as low as it is, the best plan was to have a Yoga instructor come to my room for a private session (little over $30). I was given a name from the hotel concierge of a gentleman named Mr. Anshol, who was to arrive at my room at 7am the next morning. I wondered how this would work; would he cue me and push me like I do with my Pilates clients at home? Or would we just meditate for an hour? Was he an old swami type with ragged clothes? Or a modern young yogi wearing Lululemon and donning a cell phone?

He ended up being quite young (late 20’s) and showed up at my door in jeans and a button down shirt. I must say this surprised me; I was at least expecting someone in exercise clothes! However immediately he asked me a few questions, we got to work, and I forgot what he was wearing and the awkwardness of working out in a hotel room.

He keyed into my back issues immediately and forced me into immediate relaxation breathing (lying face up on pillows). Then he started with a series of standing postures in no particular order or flow. Some I recognized (triangle pose, high lunge, chair pose, camel etc) and others were familiar but different. There was a LOT of back bending- something I’ve avoided recently however I know this is the root of “real” yoga. Within 20 minutes I was sweating and feeling my body working hard.

In his strong Indian accent he would say things like “sit in this position for a bit and feel the intensity” and “visualize your back and stretch it out”. He gave me tips on some positions and others he let me feel it and just pushed me deeper. Honestly, it was similar to a session I would receive at home, minus the oddly dressed Indian man and the backdrop of the Arabian Sea.

I loved his blend of mental with physical as he ended our session with some relaxation breathing and visualization. He mentioned that often the “mental/ spiritual” element of Yoga is missing in the states- something I know I need to work on. He was all in all very polite and respectful and obviously knowledgeable. My body and mind felt energized and I was happy I experienced an Indian version of my newfound love of Yoga.

The Real Mumbai

2008-10-08T05:40:00.000-07:00

Today we had some time to really see the true Mumbai; this is the part I imagined when I thought of India and the reality of most of this country’s inhabitants. The crowds, poverty and trash were underlying themes of the day although the vibrancy of the people and culture is striking.

We rented a car and driver and started off in a section of town called Buleshwaar. A bustling local (not touristy) merchant area, there were people, cows, goats, bikes, motor bikes, and some cars pushing shoulder to shoulder through the narrow streets. Even our driver mentioned that this area could be somewhat dangerous due to the amount of people crowded around our vehicle. If we had hit something the locals can easily latch on to the fact that we are foreign and try to get money out of us to pay for injuries. We escaped with no problems of course! Taking pictures made me a bit nervous as I didn’t want to identify myself as a complete tourist- although I did snap a few. In this particular one you’ll notice it’s quite bright, and well I didn’t exactly think it was appropriate to pull out my Oakleys.

We found our destination which was the shop of a brother of a friend of ours from the states who was helping us ship some stuff to Kolkata. Apparently I shopped too much and my bags were too heavy to get on the domestic flights. Don’t laugh! I must admit I am a bit weary that our stuff will actually reach us; but I am placing my blind faith into the Indian (insert accent) “don’t worry we will take care of it for you” system.

We then headed off to “Chor Bazarre” which got it’s UNOFFICIAL name because many of the merchant’s actually steal the products they sell on the streets. You name it- they had it. From car parts, to toilets, to fan repair shops to antique clocks this place was selling it. A merchant’s shop was often so small it rivaled the size of my powder room. We also visited Zaweri Bazarre where most of the jewelers have their shops. I am currently on shopping hiatus until we get closer to our final destination of Kolkata.

We also hit the central laundry service in town called Dhobi Ghat. It’s where most of the people send their clothes to be washed. Yes, when you see this picture it will surprise you to see there is where people send stuff to get clean. The washers stand knees deep in the water and spend their days physically grinding through the cleaning process. Luckily I know our hotel has an in house cleaning service.

The highlight of my day was our Thali lunch. Not to be confused with the meat based Thal meal at Yasmin’s (I got confused on this), this meal was vegetarian and consisted of many servers walking around serving little bowls of dishes. From curries, to sweets, to bread based products to milk based drinks, the servers kept coming and coming until my tummy was stuffed! The buffet lover in me thoroughly enjoyed this meal. Don’t worry- we are getting recommendations on all restaurants before we eat in order to ensure our tummy safety. So far so good!

Have you ever seen me eat THIS much?

2008-10-07T19:32:00.000-07:00

I had to post a quick pic of this! We hit a restaurant yesterday to try Masala Dosa- an Indian treat of curried potatoes inside a crispy pancake type shell. We ordered a larger one to share, and look what we got! The potato part is much smaller than the shell itself so were able to eat most of it, though we hobbled out of the restaurant and walked for a bit to burn it off. I'm sure both of my mom's are quite jealous!

The Sights and Sounds of DOWNTOWN Mumbai

2008-10-07T06:49:00.000-07:00

I’ve left the comforts of Yasmin’s home and am now in downtown Mumbai staying a wonderful boutique hotel directly off Marine Drive (first pic is the view from our room!). I took a 1.5 hour air conditioned taxi during crazy rush hour traffic to a total bill of 291 rupees (little over $5). I didn’t have change so I contributed to the local economy and made the driver’s day by giving him a 500 rupee note. I still can’t get over how cheap labor is here.

My father has been in Mumbai on many occasions so he travels well here. Marine Drive is very well known and we went for a walk both in the evening and the morning on the expansive, well paved sidewalk. Some “street families” live on the drive (families who beg and live on the streets) however also many locals take walks on this pathway. I am still dumbfounded at how many people live here- even at 6:30am the place was bustling with people engaging in their morning exercise. I’ve mentioned before how expensive the cost of real estate is here. Many of the Marine Drive front properties could command top dollar, however a law states that tenants have rights to maintain their leases as long as they are alive, so many of the buildings remain dilapidated due to being occupied by lower income families.

For the past week I have seen Mumbai mainly from a window from a car, so today was the first day of actually walking the streets on foot. Crossing the bustling streets here is an art form in and of itself- requires timing, skill, trust and blind faith. The cars honk a lot and rely on honking to negotiate the traffic- in fact someone mentioned that your brakes could go and you would survive but if your honk is broken you are in big trouble! My current technique to crossing the streets is to hold on to my dad’s shirt, and take deep cleansing breathes (much like riding in a taxi!).

I am surprised by the downtown area and how clean it is and how comfortable I feel here. Of course you see street families and trash, however the streets are paved and the people are respectful. My father keeps mentioning how much the “begging” in Mumbai has reduced therefore making it much more pleasant to walk around. Vendors encourage you to visit their shops, however unlike some places in Mexico, they leave you alone if you say no.

We visited the Taj Hotel today, an old top notch hotel directly across from the Gateway of India monument. This monument was built for Queen Victoria’s arrival to Mumbai back in the days of British colonization of India. Both buildings are beautiful, however I did include a picture of the Taj hotel directly in front of the water way filled with trash. Juxtaposition at it’s finest.

After a few sweaty hours of walking and seeing sites we are back in our comfortable AC’d room for a nap before our next adventure. I must admit, I have no complaints of India so far; perhaps because I’m traveling in style.

PS Yes, we found the Angels payoff game 4 this morning on ESPN and I watched them lose. My heart broke for a few hours- but alas, there is always next year. Maybe we’ll take Zaleeya to a playoff game in 2009!

PPS Zaleeya's passport was completed today, so technically we can pick her up! However we will continue our travels as planned with an extimated pick up date of Oct 20th.

I Am Indian Hear Me Roar

2008-10-05T09:28:00.000-07:00

I’ve had a lazy day today, hence the two posts, however my suspicion is that this may be my final post for a few days. I head tomorrow to downtown Mumbai to stay with my dad who has been gallivanting on his own for the past week. Yasmin’s place has been in Bandra, which is technically a suburb of Mumbai and despite the conditions on the street, often compared to our "Beverly Hills".

The reason I’m lazy is because we have been “hanging over”, as they call it here. We all had a few too many cocktails at the party as Yasmin’s brother’s house last night. They were having a “housewarming” to celebrate the completion of the incredible renovations of their 2 story flat.

I can’t believe I’m going to admit to having one too many cocktails on a public blog, however drinking is a part of the culture here, therefore I’ll chock it up to cultural exploration! . Yasmin and I spent a few hours getting ready, which included a trip to the salon to get my hair blow dried straight ($10!). Despite the efforts of the nice woman who spent over an hour on my hair, the humidity still took its toll and I was left with a mixed blend of straight/ curly hair. I borrowed an Indian style cute top, donned my new costume jewelry and we started our evening at 10:30pm.

I had met most of the people at the part at some point in the week so I was a lot more comfortable hanging out with the crowd. Top notch food and drinks delivered at a moment’s notice, combined with the amazing décor and view of the sea, made this party the pinnacle of my evenings in Banda. Actual main meal dinner was not served until 1am and the Hindi Karaoke fun started around 2am. We finally hit the sack at 4am!

As the evening progressed many of the guests got “high” as they call it here (drunk/ tipsy) and dancing, picture taking and lots of laughing took over. I am sharing a few of the pics for your viewing pleasure

The title of this post refers to my accent, which progressively turned more and more Indian after each cocktail. By the end of the evening I was talking with my hands, nodding my head and using Indian phrases such as “hiya” and “lovely” whenever possible. With my straight hair and newfound language, I had never felt more Indian! And it only took less than a week…

The Universal Language of Exercise

2008-10-05T01:38:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me well, you know that I will obviously spend some time talking about fitness on this blog! Well luckily I have been doing a lot of exercise since Yasmin’s fitness business is directly next door to her apartment building.

When she and I first connected in 2006 on her first trip out for her Pilates certification, I was amazed by how similar we were in our passion for fitness and entrepreneurial spirit. Yasmin had been working as a Personal Trainer for over 10 years, often called in by Bollywood stars and models, when she decided to pursue her education further by learning Pilates in the states. On her second trip out (while she stayed with us for 6 weeks), we spent countless hours talking about the state of the industry and future of Pilates expansion in her country. I’ve been looking forward to seeing her studio and how it functions.

Much smaller than I expected (remember overpopulation!), the place is crowded with people as her 4 trainers work with a variety of clients on the weight machines, cardio equipment and Power Plate (vibrating machine). Yasmin is currently the primary Pilates instructor. The economic of the society don’t allow her to place her trainers through the rigors of the Pilates certification in the state; it’s just too expensive as clients only pay approximately $30 a session. Instead she works as the primary Pilates instructor while she slowly trains in her staff on the exercises herself. She has amazed me with her ability to pick up her Pilates training so quickly and I know it’s been a struggle for her to teach the last few years with no other instructors around her to feed off of and learn new things.

It’s been a pleasure for me to spend some time with her to go over exercises and talk shop. I’ve noticed that the “culture’ of the place is a little different; with people working on top of each other, there is a lot of chatting and interruptions. The Pilates machines are directly behind the Power Plate so it’s far from tranquil. Loud music from ABBA to Bollywood sounds blare through the gym while the AC blasts from a window unit above. The trainers have been watching our sessions as I’ve trained a few of her clients. I’ve included a pic of me training one of the “runway” models who plans to participate in fashion week in late October while 2 of the trainers look on.

I taught a Mat Pilates class today (5 people, pic included) which is done in her home since there is more room there to place mats on the floor. I couldn’t help while teaching to look out the window at the amazing view of the Arabian Sea! In general the focus here is on “weight loss” and many people in the community still haven’t caught on to the concept of strength training. Much like in the States, people are looking for the quick fix; a battle Yasmin faces daily. Of course there is a strong hold of Yoga in India, but I haven’t seen or heard of anyone actually doing Yoga with the people I’ve been hanging around with. I hope to experience going to a Yoga studio along my travels.

I know Yasmin’s biggest struggle with her business is the lack of punctuality and reliability amongst her clients. With India having such a “family and community” feeling, many people cancel last minute because they feel like she’s a fellow family member. Also it’s challenging for her to over price herself because people here tend to bargain and negotiate and look for good value. It’s difficult to rely on instructors as well, often finding that they might pick up and leave after completing training with Yasmin. All the business advice I could offer, is useless out here.

We visited a spinning class at the local Gold’s Gym, which is the major franchise player out here. Again we walked into a run-down looking building and climbed an elevator to find a nice, clean, fully quipped, AC’d facility that could look like it was in So Cal. The spin instructor gave us cues similar to a class in the states, of course with a different accent!

It’s great to observe how the “fitness world” functions out here and I’m glad to have had an opportunity to put my training to good use.

Conversations with Women

2008-10-03T20:56:00.000-07:00

I’ve had some amazing conversations with women on this trip, offering me an interesting perspective on how they think in this part of the world. Please keep in mind that I’ve been running with a certain class of people the last few days, so the perspective is skewed.

At the Eid party yesterday, Yasmin’s sister in law Rauz and I had a conversation about arranged marriages. Hers was arranged, however not in the way that you and I would think. How it works is that the parents seeks out about 10 “matches” that they deem as appropriate from other families with equal socioeconomic status. Then the children will date a few of these matches to see where there may be chemistry. Rauz said that she dated Saif for a year before they got married. According to her, this is the best way to get married in India and these marriages tend to survive more than “love” marriages. In India, the lifestyle revolves heavily around family. In fact Rauz and her husband and children all live with her in laws and she feels that she was glad she married into a family with a similar background as her own. In fact her 16 year old daughter currently has a boyfriend, but has asked her mother to help her arrange her marriage when the time comes. Hard for us to imagine, however at the completion of this conversation she had me a little convinced.

I told Rauz that had Azeem and I lived in India, we would have probably been chosen as one of the 10 matches for each other. Our family backgrounds, socioeconomic upbringing and religion are all matched which I know is one of the many reasons we are so happily married. However when asked out here, I do make sure to mention that I am in a “love” marriage (wink wink to Azeem). J

This evening Yasmin took me as her guest to her monthly “kitty” party. Apparently this word has a few meanings, but in this case it’s a girl’s evening out with old friends. Part of the evening however revolves around the “kitty”; each of the ladies contributes 10,000 ($220) rupees to a “pot”. When they get together a name is drawn and this person receives all the money (90,000 ruppees!!) and then this winner gets to arrange and schedule the next party. Basically Yasmin told me it’s a great way to force themselves to get together once a month.

Once again upon meeting the women I felt like I was in the presence of Bollywood stars, although this times I was! One of the ladies Sangeeta (last name not mentioned since this is a public blog) was a film actress and she was definitely stunningly beautiful. Another one of the other ladies is the sister to a MAJOR film actor who I won’t mention, but if you are Indian trust me you’ve heard of him. Anyhow I didn’t discover this information until later in the evening and in the mean time simply enjoyed another meal of listening and watching (the picture cut me off, however you all know what I look like!).

All in their late 30’s early 40’s, these women spent the hour together (over wonderful Chinese food) discussing schools for their children, insider Bollywood gossip and, of course, jewelry. In fact they passed each other’s jewelry around a bit commenting on the beauty and prices. The Bollywood gossip was a bit over my head until Yasmin updated me later, and it was juicy! Someone’s ex slept with someone else and there was an argument at a film premier, etc etc. I felt like I was reading People magazine! After dinner we wandered downstairs to a very trendy Indian nightclub that looked similar to any club in the states. In fact I found it classier, less chaotic, the men more respectful and the music better!

As we left the nightclub and drove off the grounds (we were at a fancy hotel) we got back on the road right next to the shacks and homeless and street fires and stray dogs. I just couldn’t help but notice the extreme juxtaposition.

Lastly, speaking of women, I finally got a chance to do some major shopping with Yasmin yesterday- she is the ULTIMATE expert! We visited “Cottons” where I picked up a lot of cotton based Indian clothes- well made and excellently prices. My favorite shopping however was when we went to a costumes jewelry exhibition at another one of the amazing “lofts” in Mumbai. I picked up a bunch of sparkly bling. Now I have a few clothes to help me feel almost as fashionable as the beautiful women of this country.

By the way, I hear many of your are reading back home, so please continue to comment! Thank you for the incredible support. Technology makes me feel so close to home.

Language, Food and Other Random Thoughts

2008-10-02T21:58:00.000-07:00

End of day three and there is just so much to write about. I hope you all are enjoying the read! I thought I’d touch on a few other details of “living” in Mumbai.

The main languages here are English and Hindi. Everyone speaks English except maybe the help; Ramu’s English (the cook) is very broken and we’ve had a few incidents over our miscommunication. Today I asked him if could warm up the leftovers from lunch and poor guy started making me a meal from scratch. Oops.

As for the English, the thick British/Indian accent is lovely to listen to and easy to pick up. Don’t be alarmed if I come home with an accent! Some phrases and words are fun; I love calling a water heater a “geezer” and my favorite phrase so far is when someone “has met with an accident.” Yasmin’s friends speak mostly English with some expressions in Hindi. I grew up speaking and listening to Kutchi, a pretty obscure dialect from a region near Gujarat that no one speaks here, but some words and phrases are similar so I can understand some things. Like “pani” (water) and “garam” (hot). I’d love to pick up more Hindi; perhaps I’ll start watching some Bollywood films at home!

We visited a play this evening that stared Yasmin’s brother in law Zafar. Zafar had actually visited us in Irvine when he was traveling with another show and happened to be with us for Thankgiving 2006 so it was a pleasure to finally see him in action. What an excellent actor he is! The theatre was intimate but not too different from a regional size theatre here in the states. The show, “Chaos Theory”, was in English with a lot of Indian references and euphemisms. It was touching and hilarious and incredibly well acted. I was impressed!

Many of you are aware of my recent dietary changes (gluten free, dairy free, fish eating vegetarian) and are probably wondering what in the world am I eating! Well I’ll be happy to report the food so far has been great. Being vegetarian in India is like being a surfer in Laguna Beach (ok couldn't resist the analogy). Yasmin’s cook has made great veggie curries and daal (lentils) with rice and naan. The food doesn’t seem to bother me too much here since I think it’s far less processed and fresher. I am very careful to drink (and brush teeth) with bottle water only and no ice. So far this part has been a piece of cake but once I get on the road and start really moving through some more rural parts of India I believe this will change.

Today Yasmin threw an “Eid” party (100 people!) at her home which involved the traditional “thal” meal. I mentioned this a few days back and this time I got pictures (umm, yeah, so the humidity is NOT good for curly hair)! Since the meal was mostly meat she also catered for the 30 plus vegetarians. Hindus and Muslims are all very friendly here and I am starting to figure out who is what based on names and how they eat. Many people have found it odd that I, a Muslim, am vegetarian and even more strange that it’s a new thing for me. But alas, I am sticking to it. As much as I missed out on the main meal, the veggie stuff was amazing!

My future plans for Mumbai include an upcoming weekend of more dinners, parties and FINALLY some shopping! Then early next week I will move in with my father at his hotel to see downtown Mumbai and sightsee. Then we are off to a destination unknown for a few days (yes we are playing it by “the” ear as they say here!) and then to meet Azeem in Dehli by the 12th. Our estimated date of meeting Zaleeya is around Oct 20th. Her passport should be ready in a few days...

Stay tuned!

Lifestyles of the Indian Rich and Fabulous

2008-10-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

There is to much to blog about here I don’t even know where to begin! For the record, NO ONE here cares about American Baseball. The only response I seem to get when mentioning I’m from America is regarding our current state of the economy and upcoming election. If it were up to Mumbai, Obama would win in a landslide.

After a morning of visiting Yasmin’s studio and relaxing around the house, I set out for an evening that started at 6:30pm and didn’t end until 3am! Today (Thursday is Gandhi’s birthday so it’s a national holiday as well as the week of “Eid” and a Hindu celebration called “Navrarti” so there is a lot to celebrate! Since last night was also “Chandraat”, or new moon, my dad and I set off to our Ismaili Jamat Khane (our mosque for the non Ismailis reading) after which we were invited to the home of a very wealthy Ismaili whom my father met in the US. Yasmin’s driver Manoj had a little trouble finding the Jamat Khane; luckily most people around here ask each other for directions. I had to include a little pic of a Auto rickshaw outside of Yasmin’s house. These things are on the road everywhere!

For the Ismaili’s reading: Jamat Khane looked and felt similar to home. The 2nd Dua was recited first immediately followed by first. There was no Ginaan and the Taasbi was very similar. Mukhi liked to say “Ya Ali Madad” a lot. Volunteers at one point swept through the Jamat with bowls asking for money donations. I attempted to do Naaz (though didn’t drink the water) and Chaanto however I was confused to ended up doing it incorrectly. My dad and I had a bit of a chuckle over it; I had no woman with me to help out! The outside building and gardens of the JK were really pretty- I’ve included a pic.

After Khane we got into the Mercedes car (the driver had gone all the way to Downtown to pic up my Dad- about an hour drive) and headed off to our hosts home Naushad and Noorjan. I think the most interesting thing about India so far is that NOTHING looks nice from the outside. You might drive up to a gate directly next to a slum and wander into an entry way that still looks rather run down. You will go up a small cramped elevator that is serviced by a security guard (this one saluted us!) and then suddenly the door opens to something nice on the inside. In this case, the whole building was owned by this family and the inside was AMAZING. Exactly what you would imagine from the Indian upper class: marble floors, Italian water fountains, stylish furniture, a pool sundeck and a rooftop garden completely immaculately landscaped. The view was unbelievable- all of Mumbai. I wish I could take pictures, but the American in me though it would be rude to suddenly start taking pics of someone’s home. Apparently real estate in India has skyrocketed lately (again due to overpopulation) with “flats” costing up to $2000 a square foot!

After a delicious meal of about 10 dishes served on a gigantic lazy susan my father decided to call it a night while the driver dropped me off at the location of Yasmin’s current party. One of her friends was celebrating a birthday so about 10 local Indian couples had gathered at China Garden. After a few cocktails (no ice!), at 12:30am, the group sat down to dinner. If you can imagine the beautiful women of Bollywood, then you can imagine the crowd I was with. All incredibly stylish, funny, sassy, attractive and obviously upper class. There is a pic of me and Yasmin at China Garden.
Finally at 1:45ish we headed out a again, this time for a quick stop at Yasmin’s parents house who were also having a party. Their “flat” was also incredibly stylish, well decorated and spacious with a terrace view of the sea and Mumbai. They also had food (my 3rd offering of the night!) and plenty of bartenders and “help”. We only stayed briefly there and then finally headed home around 2:30am. Phew!

I think the biggest observation for me so far is the abundance of domestic help; even my China Garden dinner mate (forgive me for not remembering all the names) was telling me that this was the biggest advantage of living in India. Each house might employ anywhere from 3-10 servants. The majority of upper class women do not work, however managing the “help” does seem to be a full time job. Mostly uneducated, some servants end up working for a family for 10, 15 or 20 years. They will take vacations to go visit their village when they can and usually bring back any earnings they might receive. The living quarters for the “help” are often small and not air conditioned. I’ve included a pic of one of them asleep in the room off the kitchen; quite an amusing picture and a telling one as well.
Anyhow these are my observations from day two- can’t believe I’ve only been here two days! And yes I’m missing my Angels playoff game, however this is an experience of a lifetime far more valuable then anything Krod, Mark, Chone and Vladdy could give me.

Baseball vs. Cricket

2008-10-01T19:07:00.000-07:00

So, it's Azeem here still in California. I'm really glad that Zeena's finally had some time to write some entries. Based on the comments it looks like you're all enjoying them. The fact is, she's the blogger in the family, having done it as part of her career for the last 2 years. She's become a great writer, hopefully a talent she will pass on to our daughter one day. I've enjoyed writing thoughts down, and realized that recently my lack of focus was probably due to the fact that I hadn't written in about a week. So what does all this have to do with Baseball and Cricket? Nothing really....

So today, the baseball playoffs start. Our Angels of Anaheim take on our arch rivals the Boston Red Sox, and we will avenge our loss to them last year in the playoffs. It's a game that Zeena would have totally enjoyed going to with me, but she's obviously 8000 miles away, and desperately trying to figure out how to watch the game in India at 7:30 in the morning. I'm pretty sure all she will find on the TV is Cricket. We have season tickets, and as season ticket holders we get to buy seats for the playoffs and the World Series. Well this year we bought them, but it looks like we will miss the playoffs (partially), and when they make it to the World Series (hopefully against the Dodgers) we will probably miss that as well. So, it seems to me that we just got our first lesson in sacrificing fo ryour children. Yeah it's not a big sacrifice, in the whole scheme of things, how many opportunties do you get to see your life-long baseball team make it to the World Series? Once, Twice, Three times if you're really lucky? Unless you're a Yankee fan, then you're just plain old spoiled. But how many times do you get to experience the new addition to your family? Especially in a situation like ours?

So as much as that has been going on in our world, with the election, the economic crisis, the Angels, and work, it's going to be nice to take a few weeks away and focus on something important and meaningful for us and our family. It's also going to to be interesting if anyone in India even cares about American Baseball. I wonder....

The Sights and Sounds of Mumbai!

2008-09-30T12:33:00.000-07:00

It’s been exactly 24 hours now, and what a whirlwind! I am staying here in Mumbai with my dear friend Yasmin, who is a fantastic personal trainer and Pilates instructor here. Yasmin stayed with us two years ago in Irvine while she was completing her Pilates certification and has been begging me to come to India ever since.

My initial impressive of the airport was positive- immigration was quick and our bags came out faster than LAX. However it was weird looking around at all the Indian faces and feeling so personally different from all of them. I actually related more to the few white women! It’s amazing to me that’s it’s taken me 35 years to get here.

Yasmin’s family all have drivers and immediately after getting in the car (with no seatbelts!) I realized this whole car riding thing was going to have to be a leap of faith. The driving is crazy (and apparently better than Dehli or Kolkata) and there are bikes, pedestrians, and “autorickshaws” to avoid. I’ve decided that looking out the side window and not paying attention to the chaos ahead is the best strategy for me. The drivers seem to know what they are doing.

Yasmin’s apartment is close to the sea with beautiful views and comfortable accommodations. I've littered this post with pics. After a decent night’s sleep I woke up to her cook Ramu making me breakfast (they won’t even let me clear the plates!) and headed over to her gym. Her personal training/ Pilates studio is filled with people avoiding each other everywhere- a common theme I’m discovering in India. Too many people!

In the afternoon we met her friend Simrin from Hong Kong who took me to a few stores for shopping. It was overwhelming! I picked up a few things and got my feet wet in the shopping experience. I am struggling a bit with the currency conversion (47 rupees to 1 dollar). I have to remind myself that a 500r note is only $10!

Later Simrin left me to my own devices with the driver who took me to get my waxing and nails done (everything under $15!). I must admit I was a little nervous to be out in the open, feeling so “American”. Though in time I think these feelings will calm down. There is poverty, dirt, stray dogs, goats and people everywhere. It’s surreal as I feel like I’m in National Geographic.

In the evening we went to downtown Mumbai to Yasmin’s family to celebrate “Eid” which is the end of the holy Muslim month of Ramadan. I got to witness a traditional “thal” dinner where everyone eats off one plate. I’m noticing that people aren’t quite as polite as we are in America, but there is still plenty of warmth from everyone. I find myself saying “please” and “sorry” and “thank you” way more than anyone else. And my accent sticks out like a sore thumb. It’s definitely a cultural adjustment.

Now I’m snuggling back into my room and I look forward to a new day. I’m glad to have the first 24 hour jitters behind me.

Zeena Has Landed....

2008-09-29T11:17:00.000-07:00

So Zeena's Mom and I saw off Zeena and her Dad on Sunday afternoon at LAX. They got their flight on time and landed in London at about 2AM our time.

I got my very early morning text along with some requests for tech support to help her figure out some cell phone settings for their phones. FYI, we got our cell phone SIM cards unlocked so we can use local carriers for less cost, we'll let you know how that works out in future posts.

So now I just got word that Zeena and her Dad have landed in Mumbai and they're on their way to get some rest since it's about 1 AM in the morning local time for them. Everyone is doing ok and looks like phone, email, and blackberry messenger are working well (just a little slower than normal which is to be expected when you're 8000 miles apart!).

FINAL Date Night

2008-09-28T05:48:00.000-07:00

We've been contemplating recently how wonderful the timing has working out for this trip: better weather in India, end of Ramadan, just in time for the Holidays etc etc. Except for one thing: the ANGELS playoffs!

The night before my (Zeena) flight to India, we decided to rush through the last minute packing and head off to one of the final home games of the season and our LAST date night before parenthood.

Normally we have great (nosebleed) season ticket seats, but this time we visited the scalper who calls himself Anaheim BOB. He told us about a set of tickets he had DIRECTLY behind home plate. In an attempt to negotiate an even lower price, I told him it was our last date night before adopting a baby. It didn't quite work but we did go ahead and spring a little more $ for the idea of seeing our team up close.

It was AMAZING! Despite the loss, we were able to see every player at bat and watch the pitches and agree (or vehemently disagree) with the ump's calls. Due to the impending playoff game this week, Mike Scioscia played a lot of players so we got to enjoy the entire lineup. We even got to see KROD's crazy windup!

The icing on the cake was when Anaheim Bob called us to make sure we enjoyed the seats. In an effort to congratulate us, he said "Happy Adopting!"

What's in a NAME?

2008-09-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

A few people have asked about the name of our daughter. I (Zeena) thought I'd quickly post an entry.

The children are given names at the Orphanage and ours was "Pratima" which is sanskrit for "Image, Idol". Most adoptive parents rename their children once they are brought home.

Obviously we have decided to name ours "Zaleeya" which is an arabic name meaning "Strong, Knowledgeable". We changed the spelling a bit to make it easy to pronounce. Also because both of our names are usually spelled with an "I" instead of two "E's". Our parents were obviously on the same page by adding the "E's" and we decided to pass this tradition along.

We love it and we hope you do too!

Are you sooooo excited?

2008-09-22T21:20:00.000-07:00

Zeena, here. You may be surprised to find out that it's been AZEEM who has been posting so far!

So everyone is saying, "You must be soooooo excited!". Is it ok to actually admit that I'm not "sooooo excited"? Well sure, a little bit. But honestly I'm more scared, nervous, anxious, overwhelmed and stressed out than anything else.

We are first time parents, and well this is not the "normal" way to do things. On top of the weirdness of the whole process, comes this feeling that my life will NEVER be the same the moment I step on that plane. And really, I have liked my life!

How will I feel when I get handed that bright eyed little girl? Won't her first moments with us be of fear and terror? How will she feel being taken out of her home? And how will we cope with suddenly become parents in one quick cab ride? How does one go from supremely independent to suddenly being responsible for another human being?

Those are the bigger questions. But even the small ones get me: how do you mix formula? How much should I spend on socks? What is a cereal bottle? How do I steralize a nipple? Oh my.

I know it will all work out. I have faith in us and in this process. But this is the beauty of a BLOG- a chance to let it all hang out.

Surprise!! New Pictures!!

2008-09-22T13:21:00.001-07:00

So we just a got a surprise email today. A parent who has adopted two children from ISRC(Zaleeya's Orphanage) happened to be in India a few weeks ago and stopped there to take pictures of the children. He said they were all napping when he got there, so hence the sleepy eyes. Some of the other pictures included her in a playpen with other babies which was really cute to see, but we've left them off the blog to respect the privacy of the other children and their families. So far, everything is progressing on schedule, and hopefully it will continue to do so. Zeena leaves for Mumbai (formally known as Bombay) this Sunday. She and her Dad will be staying there for about 2 weeks. Azeem is scheduled to fly out and meet them on October 13th, however his departure is contingent on the paperwork process moving on schedule. This is the tentative schedule right now, anything can change at the last minute, and we've learned that you have to expect last minute changes, it's just part of the process.

Ouch that hurt!

2008-09-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

So reality is starting set in a bit. I guess we experienced our first pain as parents, we had to get our vaccine shots to travel to India. Ouch!! India travel requires immunizations for tetanus (recommended for everyone every 5-10 years anyways), Hepatitis A and B (recommended that you at least get A, and typhoid. We had ours done at the county health center the cost was about $115 each, since we have a PPO this was a cheaper option. It was actually quite an easy and efficient process, I was impressed with our county public health services as a first time user. Who says government provided health care can't work. (no more political statements for the rest of the post, I promise) In addition to the vaccines, you need to take malaria pills. It might be important for you to find out if your insurance covers this medication. Turns out that ours did not, which was a surprise because we have a great plan in many other respects. The retail cost of malaria pills is $20 per pill! We have to take 10 pills each for a 3-4 week trip to India. Luckily the pharmacist at CVS was able to provide me with a discount and we only paid $5.80 per pill. But a normal Co-Pay would have been $20-$40total, so check into your insurance coverage. The cycle is one pill the week before travel and a pill every week while on travel then, 4 more after returning home. Oh yeah, the side effects include auditory hallucinations and night mares. The pharmacist said with a plain face "If you suspect psychosis then you should probably see a doctor. But the alternative, which is contracting malaria, is much worse". We'll be sure to take our pills and hope for sweet dreams!

Video!!!!

2008-09-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

We were lucky enough to receive two sets of video of Zaleeya over the last 9 months. One was taken about 6 months ago by a visiting family the second was taken by Charles Lee who is the husband of Hedy Lee - the director of the Dillon International's Orange County Office (our Agency). A very kind friend of ours put a video montage of all the pictures and video and set it to some really great music. We played the video at the shower and there many tears of joy shed. It was great moment that we will never forget.

The video is available online at - http://www.azdhalla.com/zaleeya/video/ - please be sure to wait a few minutes before hitting play so the video can download. It's about 8 minutes long and worth every minute!

Pictures of Zaleeya

2008-09-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

After all these posts I bet you're wondering, well who is this little girl that everyone is making such a fuss over? What is she like? What does she look like? Well, welcome to our world. We've gone for the last 9 months on pictures provided to us by other families picking up their children from the orphanage. So, we never really knew how often we would get new pictures. So here are a few of the pictures we received over the last 9 months.

Information for our readers

2008-09-17T19:00:00.000-07:00

So this blog is designed for our friends and family to keep track of our journey to India. It's also designed to help current and future adoptive families prepare for their journey to India to pick up their children. So from time to time you will see informational blogs about the process and hopefully tips and tricks to help future families navigate their way. Mostly though, this will be about our experience. So to help you keep up to date on our blog and enjoy your experience here are a couple of tips:

1. Subscribe to the RSS feed at the bottom of the blog - this will allow you to get instant updates when a blog entry is posted. It will also help to remind you to check in on the blog every once and a while. Once you subscribe your internet explorer page will have an orange square icon (on your tool bar) light up when there are new blog entries. We plan on only updating through the blog, so please do not expect mass emails to our friends while we are in India. If you need help with how to do this please let me know in the comment section and I'll walk you through it.

2. Both Zeena and Azeem have Facebook accounts. This will be another way to check in our progress and if possible we will be updating information there when we can, but keep in mind we probably won't have much time to play scrabble etc.

3. Please comment, we want to know if there is a question that you have or want to cheer us on. We couldn't have gotten this far with out you, and we definately will need your well wishes while we are 8,000 miles away from home.

4. Tell your friends! We are looking forward to sharing this experience and we hope that someone out there we never met learns something new or is inspired to do even more.

The baby shower

2008-09-14T23:09:00.000-07:00

So our wonderful friends and family threw us a baby shower. Ours was much more of an afternoon adult party than a shower. We enjoyed everyones company today and we were so happy to share our special day for Zaleeya with our closest friends and family. Our special thanks goes to Thom and Kim Meyer for hosting the party at their house. Our friends Heather and Adam Sblendorio, Cathy and Scott Neslon, Joanne and Daniel Jordan, and Melanie and Saleem Dhalla also help put together a great party, with great food and great energy to send us off to our journey. We are very lucky to have great friends and family like all of you.

Ziggy is no longer in charge....

2008-09-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

So, here is Ziggy Marley Buster Dhalla, our first addition to the Dhalla household. We are pretty sure he knows that his life is about to change as drastically as ours. This room used to be his place to hide all sorts of knick knacks. I'm sure he's working on a plan for a new hiding spot. In the meantime he's making every effort to hold on to his territory....

Welcome!

2008-09-07T10:51:00.000-07:00

Thanks for visiting our story. We've been inspired by the several families who have chosen to share their adoption stories over the last two years, so now it's our turn to return the favor. We hope that our friends and family can enjoy the journey along with us as we travel to Kolkata, India to pick up our daughter. It's been a long road to this point. As some of you may know we were originally matched with a baby boy last year, unfortunately it did not work out and it was a major setback for us. Fast forward a year, and now we are looking forward to bringing our daughter home. We've been in an emotional "holding pattern" for the good part of this year, but now we are ready to let go a little, allow ourselves to be "excited" and come to the terms that we will be new parents, very soon.

We have so many people to thank for their support over the last 2-3 years. Our families, specifically, our Parents have been such pillars of support and comfort for us. Sharing in our challenges and celebrating in our successes, they've been there by our sides the whole time, learning about the process and containing their excitement for their future grand daughter. Our friends have been wonderful and supportive as well, and we can't wait for them to meet our daughter. Lastly, we'd like to personally thank Hedy Lee and Tami Davidson from Dillon International, our adoption agency. Hedy and her husband Charles have been inspirations from the beginning, they truly enjoy helping children from all over the world find loving families. Thank you for making us feel like your family throughout this process.

So here is our story.........enjoy!